


Frozen Hands to Hold

by hickeystyles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Camping, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Dorks in Love, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Snow and Ice, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 02:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1881075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hickeystyles/pseuds/hickeystyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas AU where Harry is spending the holiday alone until he meets Louis who invites him to spend Christmas with his family and friends. Harry may or may not be in love with him at first sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Okay this wasn't supposed to be a chapter fic, but this thing is basically a one shot that got really out of hand. The purpose for this fic was written for my lovely best friend, Meghan, for her birthday, so I really hope she (and everyone else reading) enjoys her gift because I love her a lot :-)
> 
> Again, my tumblr is hickeystyles.tumblr.com if you want to contact me there! (or maybe give me a follow)
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own/know/associate with One Direction in any way. This work is a piece of fiction, and I am not in any way implying that I know anything about the members of One Direction, their sexual orientations and/or their relationships and all that stuff

Harry couldn’t shake the thought that he had the worst headache of his life. It was pounding into his brain, throbbing, a steady _thump, thump, thump_ that wouldn’t let him forget he had it even for a moment. The atmosphere of the bakery was not helping in the slightest: all of the hectic customers trying to get their last batch of sugar cookies or walnut pumpkin pie before Christmas dinner the next night, chattering away their orders. The chime from the bell above the door was searing into his mind as it dinged every second, making Harry shiver as the bitter cold swept in.

He sighed, wishing he could spend the holiday with his family, but, _surprise _, they were too busy for him. Christmas was a _family_ holiday, for Christ’s Sake. His older sister, Gemma, insisted she had to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend’s family, because _'Harry, I have to make a good impression, you know that.'_ And his mum, Anne, ever the pleaser, went along with Robin to Italy for a romantic winter holiday, complete with the expensive wine and roses, insisting _'Harry you’ll be fine here, you don’t want to spend Christmas with your old mum and her boyfriend now would you?'_ But honestly, he _would_ – it beats sneezing from the flour getting in his nose and having his itchy hairnet fall into his eyes.__

__He needed the money, though, and besides, what else was he going to do? His best friend, Nick flew back to his home town to visit his family, insisting Harry should come, but Harry didn’t want to intrude. He knew Nick only saw his family every so often, and they didn’t need his gangly frame stumbling into the picture, and it’s not like he had any other close friends to choose from. So, bakery it was. Even though he was a bit confused why it was so busy so close to closing time._ _

__Harry barely registered the bell chiming again as he wrapped up crescent shaped scones in crinkly paper, keeping them fresh for a customer, when he heard a voice behind the counter._ _

__“Hi, excuse me? Um, I ordered a batch of red velvet cupcakes for tonight? I was wondering if they were ready to be picked up?”_ _

__Harry looked up to be met with a pair of striking blue eyes and lost his train of thought. He was staring at probably the most beautiful guy he’d ever seen, his feathery brown hair sweeping across his forehead, tucked in a dark blue beanie, a little scruff dusting his chin. He even had his hands wrapped up in mittens, fucking _mittens_ , that had a little hole on the thumb, Harry noticed, as he rubbed his hands together to keep them warm from the chill of outside. “I….” Harry started, clearing his throat, “uh, let me check.” He all but sprinted into the back room, wiping his powdered white hands on his red apron, leaving smears, and took a deep breath. _ _

__God, so his customer was cute, big deal. It happened all the time, and Harry knew how to handle it. _Honest_. He shakily checked the back counter to see if there were any red velvet cupcakes and was greeted with them already wrapped in a nice little white box, complete with a ribbon of red. He licked his chapped lips before walking back to the counter where the mystery customer was waiting for him, and he gave him a big dimpled grin, hoping it didn’t come off as manic. _ _

__“Right here, freshly baked and wrapped,” Harry said, mentally cringing at how freaking dorky he sounded._ _

__The customer just smiled though. “How much do I owe you, Harry?”_ _

__Harry’s heart skipped a beat as he said his name. “H-How do you know my name?” he asked, embarrassingly shaky. Jesus, he was nineteen years old, why was he acting like he was fourteen?_ _

__“Nametag, mate,” the customer pointed at Harry’s chest, where Harry checked to see if indeed, he did have a nametag on, as if it disappeared since he put it on that morning. He felt his cheeks heat up at the silver of the tag glinted bag at him tauntingly._ _

__“Right,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek, a nervous habit of his._ _

__“I’m Louis, by the way,” the customer offered, “aaaand you still didn’t tell me how much I owe you.” He grinned, his eyes crinkling up at the corners, and Harry almost fainted. Louis’ whole face lit up when he smiled._ _

__“Oh! Um, €25 for the dozen of them,” Harry choked out._ _

__“Pretty pricey now, isn’t it Harry?” Louis shook his head as he reached into his tight blue jeans for his wallet._ _

__“Hey now, I don’t make the prices here,” Harry protested as Louis gave him the right amount. Harry took it and fed it to the cash register, placing Louis’ change on the counter._ _

__“I know, I’m teasing,” Louis smirked, grabbing the money and pocketing it, “have a nice holiday, Harry.”_ _

__“You too, Louis,” Harry grinned as Louis mock-saluted him and turned on his heel to leave. When he got to the door he called over his shoulder, “nice hairnet by the way!” And with that, the door chimed and Louis walked out as Harry ripped off the black hairnet a little too late, red faced._ _

__

__-_ _

__

__Ten minutes later, the bakery was simmering down as it reached closing time. Harry blew a stray curl out of his face as he wiped down the counter with a washcloth, the day’s work weighing him down. Coupled in with the fact he knew he would never see Louis again. He didn’t even know the bloke’s last name for crying out loud._ _

__The bell chimed over the door again, and Harry snapped his head up, his heat stopping as he saw Louis sheepishly walking back in._ _

__“You do know it’s closing time, right?” Harry smirked, throwing the rag over his shoulder, trying to seem casual as his heart raced._ _

__“I know I just, er, sorry to bother you, but do you have jumper cables in your car by any chance? I’ve been trying to get my car to start for ten bloody minutes and the bugger won’t budge. And I have to get to my mum’s house for Christmas Eve and I was already late picking up the cupcakes and-“ Louis blabbered on, but Harry cut him off._ _

__“Hey now, it’s okay. I actually don’t have any-“ Louis’ face fell, “-but I can give you a lift,” Harry finished, the suggestion coming out of his mouth before he could stop it. What else was he going to do tonight anyway?_ _

__“Really? No, Harry I couldn’t, it’s your Christmas Eve too I couldn’t possibly-“ Louis started to blabber again, which Harry was quickly finding endearingly adorable._ _

__“It’s fine,” Harry cut him off again, “really. I’m going home after this anyway. Gonna watch some Christmas movies all by myself with a nice cuppa to keep me company. I’m not missing anything,” he shrugged, his cheeks coloring a bit at the confession._ _

__Louis frowned, looking genuinely upset, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Harry beat him to it, “so my car is parked out front, it’s the blue crappy shit a few spots over. You can start it to make it warm if you want,” he offered, tossing him the keys that Louis barely managed to catch at the unexpected throw._ _

__“You’re awfully trusting you know,” Louis raised an eyebrow, “I could be England’s most famous car thief and you just willingly handed me you keys, no questions asked.”_ _

__“Trust me, when you see my car, even the world’s most desperate thief would not want to take it,” Harry chuckled._ _

__Louis smiled, shaking his head, “thank you. Really, it means a lot.” With that he headed out to Harry’s car._ _

__Harry grinned to himself as he locked up the display cases, turning off the lights in the place. It was enveloped by darkness, covering up the little green tables littered throughout the shoppe, the colorful pastry pictures on the wall, the ugly stripped wall paper. As he struggled to get to the door in the darkness, he accidentally knocked his thigh hard on the counter, cursing and limping out the door. He probably should have turned the lights off _after_ he maneuvered his way through the shoppe._ _

__Louis started honking on the horn, grinning at Harry and crossing his big blue eyes, making Harry roll his. He wouldn’t admit it was cute, he _wouldn’t_. He took out his keys to lock up the bakery, the thick wad of them jingling as he shuffled for the right one. Shivering from the cold air, he shrugged on a gray sweatshirt to cover up his thin work polo as he headed over to his car._ _

__Finally he got to the car, sliding onto the black frayed seats, kicking some trash out of the way. He really wished he cleaned it up a bit before he got to work, but he didn’t know anyone would be getting in it, let alone someone like Louis; Louis, who was looking around the car, at the mess of it, looking like he wanted to get a disinfecting wipe, but politely trying to cover it up. “It’s…. nice,” he tried._ _

__“You can say it, it’s a dump,” Harry laughed, clicking the groaning gear shift into place._ _

__“No, it’s homey,” Louis corrected, snuggling down into the seat. “Now, I feel like I need to repay you for being a caring citizen infected with some kind of giving Christmas spirit that didn’t turn me down, so, what’ll it be? I think I have enough for gas money in my wallet…” Louis shifted to get his wallet out of his pocket._ _

__“Hey, hey now, you don’t need to pay me, it’s fine,” Harry put his hand on Louis’ wrist, enjoying the warmth radiating from his golden skin._ _

__“I have to,” Louis argued, taking it out. It had eccentric colors splashed on it, like Louis’ personality._ _

__“How about you give me one of your cupcakes and we’ll call it even?” Harry eyed the box in the trunk Louis must have moved it to, “I mean I know I make some of them, but I have to say they’re pretty awesome.”_ _

__“Well then, that settles it, you might even get two if you’re lucky,” Louis winked, “now come on Curly, let’s drive!”_ _

__“Pushy,” Harry muttered, making Louis nudge him with his foot, sticking his tongue out at him. “Now where to?”_ _

__“Doncaster,” Louis grimaced, “I know it’s a bit of a drive.” He scratched at the scruff on his chin, waiting for Harry’s response._ _

__“Good thing I have a full tank of gas,” Harry grinned, making Louis grin back, gratefulness behind his eyes._ _

__They drove in a comfortable silence for a bit, Harry concentrating on the road, trying not to glance at Louis. Louis was staring out the window, watching as snow started to fall, sticking to the trees outside and spinning in flurries that looked like mini cotton balls, a little smile on his lips that Harry wanted to kiss._ _

__“Hey Harry?” Louis piped up, still looking out the window as they passed a group of kids with their arms spread in the weather, trying to catch some of the snow on their little tongues, all of them wrapped in colorful mittens and scarfs._ _

__“Yes Louis?”_ _

__“You’re really nice.” Harry bit the inside of his cheek to stop from grinning and glanced at Louis, whose smile got a little bigger as he still didn’t look at Harry._ _

__“Thanks Lou.”_ _

__“Hey Harry?”_ _

__“Yes Louis?”_ _

__“Is your hair naturally curly?” At that one, Harry burst out laughing._ _

__“Yeah it is, Lou.”_ _

__“Hey Harry?”_ _

__“ _Yes_ Louis?"_ _

__“How come you’re spending Christmas alone?” The question surprised Harry and he glanced over at Louis again, who was staring at him now, his eyes in earnest concern. It felt as if they were staring deep into Harry’s soul; they were so intense and trained only on him, as if he was the only person in the world._ _

__“I…” Harry took one hand off the wheel and rubbed the back of his neck. “Let’s not get into that right now,” he decided to say, the less pathetic answer to _'oh my family just didn’t want to hang out with me on the holiday. Or ever, really.'_ He reached over and turned the radio on, Christmas music filling the car, a soft chorus of bells and a deep sultry voice singing about the snow or something else all Christmassy. Harry wasn’t really paying attention, though, feeling his face redden and his stomach fill with lead, efficiently ending the conversation. Why _didn’t_ his family want to spend the holiday with him?_ _

__It was quiet for a moment before Louis’ voice piped up again. “Hey Harry?”_ _

__“Yes Louis?” Harry sighed._ _

__“I didn’t mean to offend you or like bring up stuff you didn’t want to talk about. It was stupid.”_ _

__“I know, it’s not your fault,” Harry assured, but he still stared ahead, turning on his windshield wipers as the snow stuck to the glass._ _

__“Forgive me?” Louis scooted over, poking Harry’s dimple consistently until Harry broke out into a huge grin, swatting his hand away._ _

__“Of course, Lou,” Harry obliged, not sure when the nickname came a thing for them. “So Louis, I might have to kick you out of my car if you don’t get this question right,” Harry changed the subject onto lighter topics._ _

__Louis looked worried. “Um what question?”_ _

__“What football team do you support?” Harry said, mock-serious faced, “if you don’t agree with me your arse is plopping in the snow.”_ _

__Louis broke out into a grin. “Liverpool,” he answered._ _

__Harry fake swerved the car, as if Louis’ answered physically wounded him. “Noooooooo, Louis! It’s Manchester United, alright you better get unbuckled and out, I’m not even stopping the car.”_ _

__Louis laughed, “I’m sorry, but this time you are wrong, they don’t hold a candle to Liverpool.”_ _

__“Do too!” Harry protested._ _

__“Do not!” Louis shook his head._ _

__“Okay I might have to change the subject before I crash the car. But I do want to know more about you. Give me the deep secretive stuff about you,” Harry decided._ _

__“Like?”_ _

__Harry tapped his chin. “Favorite…. Movie, band, and color… go, go, go!”_ _

__“Um, uh…. Grease, The Fray, and shit um-“ Louis hurriedly tried to get out._ _

__“Your favorite color is ‘shit’? That’s gross Lou,” Harry cut him off, making Louis laugh and nudge him playfully in the shoulder._ _

__“I was gonna say green like your beautiful emerald eyes but now I changed my mind,” Louis sniffed, mock-offended, “I’m gonna say blue like my tears right now.”_ _

__“Louis, you’re not even crying you dope,” Harry laughed. He tried not to let his heart race at the fact Louis called his eyes beautiful._ _

__“And now you’re calling me a dope! God Harry, you really know how to offend a man,” Louis cried dramatically._ _

__“Dope as in, ‘wow man he’s so dope, word’. I’m sorry you misunderstood, deeply sorry,” Harry joked, making Louis roll his eyes fondly._ _

__“I can’t believe you just said that. Did you just say ‘word?’ Consider us not friends anymore. That was…. I have no words for that joke, honestly,” Louis went on, “I need to teach you the ways of funny jokes and good humor.”_ _

__Harry giggled, fucking _giggled_ , before he could stop himself, but Louis looked endeared. “How old are you Lou?”_ _

__“21, but um, well, technically 22? I mean it’s kind of my birthday,” Louis admitted, “god 22 is so old.”_ _

__“Wait, today’s your birthday?” Harry ignored his last statement, “Why didn’t you tell me! We have to celebrate!”_ _

__“And how are we going to do that in a car Harry?” Louis raised an eyebrow skeptically. Harry’s mind flashed to dangerous places, like backseat sweaty blowjobs and a panting Louis as Harry took him apart, but he shook them from his mind as quick as they came there lest he got a problem. God, stupid teenage hormones. Louis was pretty it wasn’t his fault._ _

__Instead, Harry just grinned, taking a deep breath and belting out, “HAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR LOUIS-“ he sang at the top of his lungs, while Louis started shrieking and covering his ears, reaching for the dial on the radio to drown him out._ _

__“Not the birthday song!” Louis cried, almost blowing out Harry’s speakers, until Harry finished and they both got breathless with laughter._ _

__Harry was really in shock of how _comfortable_ they were around each other despite the fact they met an hour or so ago. It was as if they’ve been friends for years. They just _clicked_ , and Harry’s nerves of talking to the confident boy melted away with each crinkle of Louis’ smile. It didn’t change the fact he wanted to kiss him until he was breathless, he had to admit._ _

__They passed the pink sign that donned the words ‘WELCOME TO DONCASTER’ in a swirly cursive, marking the almost end to their journey. Harry felt a weight in his stomach, thinking of the empty flat he was going to go home to, only surrounded by the fairy lights he strung up around his living room and the small Christmas tree he cut down himself that was already shedding. He also didn’t want to say goodbye to Louis - he really didn’t want to say goodbye to Louis._ _

__He tried to keep his voice light, although he could hear his own disappointment. “Which street?”_ _

__Louis was studying his face, his eyes flickering over Harry’s face, and he tried to not be self-conscious, but Louis finally answered, “that one, the next right.”_ _

__They were both quiet as Harry turned his car onto Louis’ street. All of the houses were squeezed in close to each other, all unique in textures and size, a nice suburban family atmosphere around them. Louis pointed out his house, a medium brick structure with gleaming red shutters and potted plants littered on the little porch out front. It seemed as if every light was on in the house, each wreath-covered window illuminated with a yellowing glow, bustling with energy and holiday spirit._ _

__“And so our journey has come to an end,” Harry said after a moment of the two of them staring at the house._ _

__“Indeed,” Louis said faintly, nibbling on his lip, not even moving from his spot, seatbelt still firmly on. The snow still fell silently out the window, casting a gray overcast around them._ _

__“So, um, have a nice holiday Lou, and a good birthday,” Harry said, his voice sounding too loud in the silent car, the only sound of Harry’s old heater wheezing to warm them up._ _

__“Do you want to spend the holiday with me?” Louis blurted out, his cheeks coloring at the outburst._ _

__“What?” Did Harry hear him right?_ _

__“I mean like with my family. I know we just met but I really like you Harry and the thought of you going home to an empty house breaks my heart please?” Louis rushed to get out, as he did when he was nervous, and Harry’s heart started to go into overdrive._ _

__“You really mean that?” He asked dumbly. Louis said he liked Harry; he wasn’t sure if Louis meant it in a platonic way or not, but even so, the sentiment was nice. And he was inviting him to his _home_ , to meet his _family_ , on _Christmas Eve_. That had to mean something, didn’t it?_ _

__“Of course I do! My family will love you,” Louis broke out into a huge grin, “I have to warn you though, I have four little monsters for sisters and a smothering mother, so it might be too much for you to handle.” Harry could tell he was joking, because he got a really fond look on his face as he talked about his family, which made Harry’s heart swell to the size of a freaking bowling ball._ _

__“I think I can handle it,” Harry nodded, “bring on the monsters!”_ _

__Louis smiled and unlocked the door, stepping out into the slow. “Bollocks I forgot how fucking cold this shit is!” he shouted, sprinting away from Harry’s car up the driveway. Harry would never admit that he watched him run away for a few seconds, watching the curve of his bum as he jogged away, before he decided to sprint after him. This, of course, was a bad idea in itself, considering Harry had the grace of a new born deer, and he ran onto a particularly slippery patch of ice. He managed to skid rid into Louis, the two of them almost toppling over into the snow, but Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist to steady him. Harry could feel Louis’ warmth through his thin sweatshirt, making his heart thud faster in his ribcage, sure that Louis could feel it._ _

__Before either of them could comment, the door swung open, revealing a pretty middle aged woman, with Louis’ sparkling blue eyes but slightly more laugh lines. She wore a warm smile that quickly turned to mischievous on her lips as she took in the boys’ embrace. They quickly straightened themselves out of their stance, red coloring both of their cheeks._ _

__Louis cleared his throat. “Hey mum, this is Harry, and he’s going to spend the holiday with us, if that’s alright. Er, circumstances left him alone this Christmas.”_ _

__Louis’ mum’s smile turned into a pucker of concern, her blue eyes sad. “Well, any friend of Louis’ is welcome here. I’m Johanna, but you can call me Jay honey,” she addressed Harry, her warm smile returning._ _

__Harry held out his hand, “pleased to meet you,” but Jay ignored it and wrapped him into a hug. Harry was honestly never hugged so lovingly, the way she wrapped her arms tight around his body and smothered him in the feeling of comfort. He just choked up thinking about his own mum, honestly only hugging him on a few occasions. She wasn’t one for touches much, mostly let him tape up his own cuts and tough it out. Her hugs were nothing special when they happened. It made Harry sad; he didn’t even know there were mums that could make you feel so welcome so quickly, like Louis’._ _

__“Well, you two need to come inside right now before you freeze, come on now, the girls are dying to see you Lou!” Jay insisted, ushering them inside, shutting the heavy brown door behind them, effectively cutting off the cold._ _

__“LOOOOOUIS!” The shrieks came immediately, the sound of little feet running into the room. Two little bundles of blonde hair latched onto Louis’ shins, their little pajama clad legs wrapped around him. Harry didn’t even realize how late they arrived, probably nine o’clock or so. Louis broke out into a breathtaking grin, and laughed, picking the two little girls up and hoisting them onto his hips._ _

__“Hey Pheebs, Hey Dais! How are my little munchkins doing?” He asked them as one of them nuzzled their head into the crook of his neck._ _

__“Missed you Lou,” she murmured sleepily._ _

__“Missed you too Phoebe,” he said softly._ _

__“Who’s the boy with the afro Louis?” Daisy whispered loudly to Louis, making everyone laugh._ _

__“I’m Harry, love,” Harry piped up, “it’s nice to meet you.”_ _

__“Harry, can I touch your afro?” Daisy asked, clearly the louder one of the two. Harry had a good guess she got it from her brother._ _

__“Of course,” Harry obliged, squatting a bit so she could run her little fingers through his hair._ _

__“I like him!” she squealed, making grabbing hands towards Harry, who laughed._ _

__“Here, you take the little rascal, I think this one needs to go to bed,” Louis smiled, handing Daisy over to Harry, “I’ll be right back.”_ _

__As Louis went up the stairs, a young teenage girl slid past him, wearing a baggy t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, her long blonde hair piled in a bun on her head. She froze when she saw Harry at the bottom of the stairs, her blue eyes widening in shock, her pale face reddening._ _

__“Muuuum! Why does no one tell me when we have company over I look like a _boy!_ ” she shrieked, running back up the stairs, covering her face as she did so. Her stomps continued for a moment before the slam of a bedroom door echoed throughout the house, an annoyed huff following. _ _

__“Don’t mind Lottie, she’s a drama queen,” another young girl materialized from the kitchen, leaning against the railing and rolling her eyes. She was clad in pajamas as well, her hair in two little neat braids, obviously done with care by Jay. She was the only Tomlinson girl with brown hair, but it matched Louis’ soft color, so Harry liked it just fine._ _

__“Just like her brother,” Harry added, making her giggle._ _

__“I heard that!” Louis gasped, coming down the stairs, “I am so offended Harry! You know what, you’re going to have to sleep on the porch with the dog!”_ _

__“Louis, we don’t even have a dog,” the girl pointed out, making Louis pout._ _

__“Whatever, Fizzy,” Louis sniffed._ _

__“You’re just proving his pooooint,” Fizzy sang, and Louis stuck his tongue out at her._ _

__“So, I’m guessing we missed dinner,” Louis sighed, turning to his mum, “I forgot to wrap some things. Harry and I are just going to go to my room and wrap them.”_ _

__“You’re seriously not done?” Jay said, exasperated, “but yeah, yeah, go ahead. Here Harry, hon, I can take her from you.” Harry didn’t even realize he still had Daisy in his arms, considering she fell asleep, her little mouth hanging open._ _

__“Oh, right,” Harry nodded, carefully handing her over to Jay so he didn’t wake her._ _

__He was about to head up the stairs when Louis took his wrist, pulling him away. “Since I left and went to uni, I got demoted to the basement because my room is now Fizzy’s new room,” he explained, not letting go of Harry’s wrist as he lead him to another door down the hall. Harry noticed there were loads of family photos lining the walls over the brown wallpaper, Louis and the girls as babies and growing up, sleeping or playing in the snow or swimming with floaties on._ _

__“Oh god, don’t look at those, please,” Louis whined, pulling him farther down the hallway, but Harry yanked his wrist to stop in front of a particularly cute picture of Louis, laughing in just a diaper, clapping his chubby hands._ _

__“Awwwww,” he cooed, making Louis blush._ _

__“Look, I know I had a hot bod, but I don’t appreciate you staring at it,” he joked, turning the picture frame over, so only the black back of it showed. Harry pouted at him but Louis just grabbed his cheeks and yanked them upwards to a smile, until Harry was actually smiling at him, dimple out. It was hard to believe Louis was turning twenty-two, as he acted like such a kid, but Harry didn’t mind. In fact, he thought the whole thing was endearing. _Louis_ was endearing. _ _

__They reached a door at the end of the hall, which Louis opened, and led the way down the creaky wooden steps. It had a concrete floor, obviously not meant for a bedroom, but anyone could tell that Jay tried really hard to make it homey for Louis. It was littered with throw rugs, one a fuzzy purple one, obviously from one of the girls’ rooms, a big red fancy one, and a striped green one. In the middle of them was a twin sized bed, a blue comforter made and tucked in already for Louis, complete with more blankets folded at the end of the bed, for the cold. There was only one dim light bulb, so Jay light rows of candles on the wooden dresser in the corner and on the night stand by the bed, casting the room in a soft glow. Coupled in with the fact that all of the hectic sounds from upstairs couldn’t be heard from down here, and the dim lighting, Harry suddenly felt himself grow nervous. He was alone with Louis in his room, and the atmosphere was so _intimate_ , and god, Harry could just feel his hands growing sweaty. _ _

__Harry could sense Louis felt the thick atmosphere as well, so he awkwardly cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, “so Harry, the wrapping paper is in that box over there, so we can just get started… wait, oh shit, I left my presents in your car. And the cupcakes.”_ _

__“I can get them,” Harry shrugged, heading back up the stairs._ _

__“No, I can,” Louis tried to shoulder his way past him, but Harry’s longer arms stopped him._ _

__“Too slow!” he chanted, running out into the snow, leaving a huffy Louis behind him with his arms crossed. He saw their footprints from earlier and almost started hopping in them, but he was sure that would be weird, and he wasn’t sure if Louis was still watching._ _

__His hands were shaking as he reached his car, almost so much he couldn’t unlock it, since the damn thing had to be manually unlocked. He slid the cupcakes out gingerly, placing the many bags on top of the box, knowing there were a lot of presents in there. The fact Louis spoiled his little sisters with presents was adorable. Harry shut the truck, balancing the gifts in one hand and clicking it into place with his hip. The bags were so high he could barely see where he was going; he just prayed he didn’t hit that ice patch again._ _

__When he opened the door, careful to click it shut quietly so it didn’t wake any of the girls, Louis was nowhere to be found. He toed off his shoes so he didn’t get the house muddy and wet and crept towards the kitchen, his sock clad feet not making a sound on the wooden floor._ _

__He heard voices in the kitchen, and he was about to walk in when he heard his name and paused. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t just _not_ when he heard his name being used. _ _

__“…with Harry?” That was Jay’s voice, even though he didn’t catch the beginning of the question._ _

__“I don’t know how long he’s gonna stay mum,” Louis said, “I asked him why he was alone this holiday and he just got the saddest look on his face, like a kicked puppy or something. I think he should stay as long as he would like. I’m staying the whole break but maybe he could stay ‘til New Year’s? Longer if he wants?”_ _

__Jay paused for a minute, pondering. “Well, if you trust him, I do, so yes, it’s fine. But if he steals anything, I’m holding your arse responsible.” Her tone was joking._ _

__“As if Harry would want to steal our chipped mugs in the kitchen and our two hundred year old telly,” Louis snorted, “plus, Harry couldn’t steal a fly.”_ _

__Harry could practically hear Jay rolling her eyes. “I’ll have you know those mugs are priceless. I do have a question to ask you, though. Why _do_ you want him to stay so much anyway, huh?” Harry could picture her raising her eyebrows, her blue eyes knowing._ _

__“Um, well, you know, he’s just a nice guy…and all,” Louis stammered, and Harry was sure his face was red. He felt his heart pick up speed, yet he didn’t know why._ _

__“You sure that’s all, Lou?”_ _

__“I… okay I like him, is that such a crime? He’s funny and adorable, and we’re alike and I dunno,” Louis rushed out, “I just like being around him.” Harry almost dropped his bags in shock. _Louis_ liked him? Beautiful, older, Louis? Who could get any guy he wanted?_ _

__“Honey, that’s great, but um, are you sure he’s you know, into the same sex?” Jay asked tentatively._ _

__“I’m not sure,” Louis sighed, “he’s really a friendly person so I have no idea.” Harry made a note in his head to make it _very_ clear to Louis he was gay. He couldn’t believe his luck; how did he get so lucky that Louis happened to be gay as well? And is interested in Harry?_ _

__“Where is he anyway?” Jay asked, and Harry froze as he heard a chair squeak back on the kitchen tiles. He all but ran back to the front door and made it a louder shut, just as Louis and Jay came out of the kitchen._ _

__“Oh god Harry, let me take some of those from you,” Louis laughed, only taking the top bag off, the smallest one._ _

__“Thanks for the help,” Harry said sarcastically as Louis skipped away, down the hall. Harry looked at him fondly with a dopey smile on his face when he turned and forget Jay was there. She had a knowing look in her eyes, and Harry felt his face heat up against his will._ _

__“Er, we’ll be downstairs wrapping these,” he said dumbly, nodding his head to the heap of presents in his hands._ _

__“Fine by me,” she smiled, wrapping her white robe tighter around herself and heading towards the stairs. “Goodnight Harry.”_ _

__“Goodnight Jay,” Harry replied, “um, but thanks again. You know, for everything,” he added._ _

__“Anytime,” Jay said back sincerely, motherly warmth in her tone. With that, she headed up the stairs and Harry turned to follow Louis back to the basement. Back into the intimate basement._ _

__Harry could do this. He really could._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be eight longish chapters so stick with me on this one :)


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only thought the first chapter was okay so if you continued reading, thank you! It definitely gets better from here on out. P.s. I apologize for the ridiculous cheese at points!

When Harry got down to the basement and successfully didn’t fall down the stairs, Louis had already pulled out all of the different wrapping paper and tissue paper and bags, all spread around him as he sat crossed legged. He had turned the radio on in the background, soft Christmas music playing, and Harry was pretty sure it was the Little Drummer Boy or something along those lines. 

Harry carefully placed the bags on the ground, pushing the cupcakes to the side. “So, which ones first?” he rubbed his hands together, starting to pull some out of the bags. They ranged from knitted sweaters to the latest Bratz doll to heart shaped necklaces.

“It doesn’t matter how you wrap them honestly, I suck at wrapping, so it’s the thought that counts, yeah?” Louis shrugged, grabbing the Bratz doll and red Santa wrapping paper. Harry nodded, grabbing some of the presents as well. 

He heard the familiar synthesized tune and squeaked, hoisting himself up and turning the volume to the radio up. “Lou, it’s Wonderful Christmas Time!” He exclaimed, clapping.

Louis was leaning back on his hands, looking up at Harry, and laughed. “I see that Harry, considering I have ears.”

“Don’t be a Scrooge, dance with me,” Harry insisted, grabbing his hands and pulling him up as well. He didn’t let go of them and spun Louis around as Paul sang in the background “Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!” Harry started to sing loudly and Louis gave in and started to sing along, the two of their voices loud and off key as they danced.

“I think it’s so weird how he says ‘the choir of children sing their song, they practiced all year long.’ And then all they do is a ‘ding dong ding dong.’ I mean you kids were practicing all year and that’s what you could come up with?” Louis pointed out, making Harry laugh.

“God Louis, don’t make fun of the children, they practiced so long and hard,” Harry chastised, swiveling his hips around.

“Yeah, but they suck,” Louis shrugged, grinning. 

“SIIIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL… LOUIS’ BIRTHDAY,” Harry improvised over Paul’s voice, making Louis roll his eyes and try to not smile.

“Alright Paul McCartney, let’s get back to wrapping,” Louis laughed, turning the volume down as the song came to a close. Harry pouted but plopped down again, crinkling some green tissue paper with his butt. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Harry hummed the tune over and over again.

“You’re a really nice older sibling,” Harry commented after a bit, grabbing a pair of fuzzy blue slippers, “my older sister got me a dildo last Christmas as a coming out present.”

Louis, who had a roll of tape in his mouth as he cut the wrapping paper, basically choked on the tape, spitting it out, his face red and his eyes wide. He started coughing, and Harry had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. “Oh… um, that’s a great gift,” he squeaked out.

Harry gave in and laughed. “Yeah, I come out as gay and Gemma had to make sure to get me the gayest present she could have. My mum screamed.” There, now Louis knew. 

Although his face was still red, he started to crack up. “Your family seems great.”

Harry sighed. They _seemed_ fine when they actually paid attention to him. When Gemma wasn’t insulting him and holing herself in her room, when his mum didn’t go out every night to come back when the sun was coming up. “They just sometimes they get so wrapped up in their own lives, you know?” is all he decided to say.

Louis nodded, letting Harry continue if he wanted to. They sat in silence for a minute as the Christmas music played in the background. “My sister is spending Christmas with her new boyfriend to meet his family. And my mum and her boyfriend, Robin, decided to go away for Christmas because the prices were better and some other excuses. They just left me home and didn’t care,” Harry admitted, slumping a bit, running his thumb over a piece of tape he just put down.

Louis put his hand over Harry’s and Harry looked up to see Louis staring at him. “You’re always welcome here Harry.”

“I know,” Harry whispered, “thank you.”

“My mum said you know, you can stay till whenever you need,” Louis offered shyly, going back to his wrapping.

“Tell her that’s very thoughtful and kind,” Harry said, directing it towards Louis as well. 

Louis gave him a small smile. “I’m sure she just didn’t want to see you lonely, because you’re such a good person.”

“I’m glad I met her then.” It was pretty obvious the two weren’t talking about Jay anymore, but they were both smiling at each other. When did Louis get so close? He started lightly tracing patterns on the back of Harry’s hand, making Harry’s arm erupt in goosebumps. Louis flipped it over, gingerly pressing a kiss to his palm and holding it up to his cheek as Harry held his breath.

“Hey Harry?” Louis looked up again. 

“Yes Louis?”

“Can I kiss you?” Harry didn’t know how to respond other than to nod dumbly, his curls flopping. Louis’ eyes fluttered close as he leaned in, and Harry could feel his soft breath on his bottom lip, before their lips connected lightly, just lips on lips. Louis looked up at Harry to gauge his reaction and this time Harry leaned in and ran his hand through the hairs at the back of Louis’ neck, making the kiss more passionate as he slipped his tongue in Louis’ mouth. Louis made a soft keening noise that went straight to Harry’s groin as he wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. 

They kissed for a bit, hands all over their bodies, teasing each other with pinkies sliding under waistbands and little nips at each other’s necks. It was _nice_ kissing, not overly filthy or desperate, just soft and exploring. The door then opened at the top of the stairs, interrupting them. They both jolted apart, breathing heavy. Louis’ hair was mussed up and his cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen and red, and Harry almost moaned because he looked so lovely like this, and Harry couldn’t wait to see what he looked like completely undone.

“Hey Lou?” Jay’s voice came from the top of the stairs, “do you have any extra wrapping paper? I just realized I have another gift I have to wrap.”

Louis cleared his throat. “Er, yeah, hold on.” He stood up and straightened his shirt and tried to fix his hair as he picked up candy cane covered wrapping paper and jogged it over to his mum. Harry just sat cross legged and leaned back on his hands, trying to catch his breath, as Louis jogged back over.

“So, um, rain check? When my mum is actually asleep?” Louis suggested, letting out a breathless laugh.

“Sure, plus, we still have some gifts to wrap,” Harry pointed out, grabbing a gift from the small pile of gifts left. Louis grinned and took the last one, kicking Harry’s foot lightly with his sock clad foot. Harry lightly kicked him back, which they continued to do until the gifts were done.

“So, now that _that_ burden is over with, let’s get some sleep, yeah?” Louis suggested, brushing some stray paper scraps off his jeans. “You can borrow some pajama bottoms if you want.”

“Lou, I doubt yours would fit me, I’m sure they’d be up to my calves,” Harry smirked as Louis crossed his arms. 

“Fine sleep naked then,” he huffed.

“I do,” Harry winked, peeling his gray sweatshirt and t-shirt off in one go to a surprised Louis, who was just staring at Harry’s stomach. He willed himself not to be self-conscious as Louis’ eyes raked over his body, taking in the butterfly tattoo he had and the two swallow ones, and the four nipples he had. Other than looking grossed out, Louis looked like he wanted to ravish Harry’s body right then and there.

“Y-you sure? It gets pretty cold down here,” Louis weakly said, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. 

“I’m sure,” Harry said, “plus you have blankets.” He walked over to the pile on the bottom of Louis’ bed and started to lay them on top of the purple fuzzy throw rug, fluffy them up as he did so.

“I can sleep on the floor if you want, you are the guest,” Louis offered, looking like he was about to put his hand on Harry’s lower bare back, but decided against it last second, his arm dropping to his side. 

“No Louis, after everything you’ve done, it’s the least I can do,” Harry waved his hand in a casual gesture before plopping down on the blankets and promptly breaking his back in the process. Okay, so the blankets were not as soft as they looked. 

“If you’re sure….” Louis shrugged, going to his drawer and pulling out a big black jumper and navy blue pajama bottoms. Harry politely looked away in case Louis was self-conscious about dressing in front of people and focused on a slight water stain on the ceiling. Plus, he was pretty sure if he saw Louis shirtless all of his self-control would be lost in a second. 

“Goodnight Harry,” Louis said softly as he snuggled into his comforter, looking like a little cuddly ball of kitten.

“Goodnight Lou,” Harry whispered, shimmying off his tight jeans so he wouldn’t cut off his circulation in the middle of the night. He snuggled into one of his blankets, trying to get warmer, because jeez it was cold down here, but he didn’t dare be rude and go over any boundaries. He kept flipping on his sides and fluffing up his pillow, trying to get comfortable, before he fell asleep to Louis’ soft snoring. 

Sometime in the middle of the night, Harry woke up to his body being about zero degrees. He was shivering from head to toe, his teeth chattering. God, the bed _did_ look comfortable…. Maybe if he just slipped in and woke up early Louis would never notice? No, that felt creepy. He stood up with one of the blankets wrapped around his shoulders and lightly tapped Louis on the shoulder before he could stop himself. 

“Hey Lou?” he whispered, crouching down so the boy could hear him.

“Hmmm?” Louis sleepily replied, his eyes still closed.

“Hey, um, can we squeeze? I’m er, kind of cold. I know your bed’s small but-“ Harry started, but got interrupted as Louis grabbed his wrist and yanked him next to him. Harry obliged with a little yelp, falling in next to Louis. Louis turned his back so he wasn’t facing Harry anymore, but before Harry could get offended, Louis grabbed his arms and wrapped them around his waist, snuggling up against Harry’s body.

Before he could stop himself, Harry pressed a soft kiss to Louis’ head and whispered, “Night Lou,” before nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck. He was met with only soft breathing, as Louis had already fallen asleep again, but Harry smiled all the way until he finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

-

 

In the morning, the two were woken up by squeals and lumps of bodies piling on top of them. “Louis! Harry! Wake up it’s Christmas!” Phoebe yelled as Daisy started to jump on the bed, her blonde knotted hair bouncing up and down. Harry peeked open an eye, noticing that Lottie was at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her fists, and Fizzy bit her lip, looking as if she was debating jumping in as well.

“We’re up you little monsters!” Louis sat up, grabbing Daisy mid jump and tickling her sides, making her squeal. Harry closed his eyes again as he laid on his stomach, pushing his arms farther underneath his pillow, trying to fall back asleep, not wanting to intrude on the family moment.

He was rudely interrupted by a little hand prying his eye open to be met with the giggly face of Phoebe, “Haaarry wake up there’s presents!” Harry groaned theatrically as Phoebe laughed again and clapped her hands.

“Guys, they’re up, now let them get….acquainted,” Lottie told them, eyeing Harry’s jeans on the floor and smirking, “and they’ll meet us upstairs in a few.” Harry felt his face heat up as the other girls obliviously headed upstairs after Lottie with grave warnings towards the boys if they didn’t get up soon.

“Louis, Lottie saw my jeans on the ground,” Harry groaned, throwing the comforter to the side and hastily grabbing them off the floor. Louis watched him as he did it, watching the curve of his back, but Harry paid no attention and just jumped into his jeans as fast as he could.

“Well, we didn’t do anything, so…” Louis shrugged, “hey, um, how did you end up in my bed last night? Did you try to corrupt me in my sleep or something?” 

Harry sputtered. “Hey, hey now I asked and you yanked me into the bed yourself it wasn’t me being creepy!”

Louis giggled, pulling him back down onto the bed, jeans halfway up his hips, and kissed him deeply, making Harry’s heart stutter. So, okay, this was a _thing_ now. 

It took all of Harry’s self-control to stop it. “Lou, no, the girls are waiting upstairs and I have wretched morning breath.”

“Come on Harry, I don’t care, kiss meee,” he pleaded, pushing his bottom lip into a frown. Harry leaned down and pressed a quick close mouthed kiss to his lips, before pulling away and shimmying his jeans up all the way. 

“Later,” Harry smirked over his shoulder, slipping on a knitted white sweater of Louis’ that actually fit him. He could guess that Louis practically swam in it.

“God Harry you’re such a tease,” Louis groaned, getting up behind him and following him up the stairs. Harry tried to fix his crazy mussed up curls, but he knew that it was no use. He wished he had his beanie to cover it up, but afro it was. 

All of the girls were already on the couch, patiently waiting for the two of them to come over. Daisy started to bounce up and down a bit on her cushion, a huge Louis-like grin on her face. Jay was on the recliner in the corner, a mug of tea in her hands, the steam billowing up towards her content face.

The present opening came in a rush of wrapping paper flying everywhere, squeals of excitement, loud thank yous, and everyone with happy grins on their face. Harry sat on the edge of the couch right next to Louis, as Phoebe and Daisy had taken to sitting on the floor, right in front of the towering Christmas tree in piles of their discarded wrapping paper. It had cute little ornaments on it, some bought as souvenirs, some made from used Popsicle sticks. Harry noticed one signed by Louis that was a purple snowflake with clumpy glitter, but it made him smile thinking of little Louis making it. 

He really didn’t mind sitting next to Louis, especially with how their thighs were touching from the lack of space on the couch, the warmth seeping into his jeans. When the girls were distracted and opening their presents, Louis would sometimes even place his hand on Harry’s knee, giving it a squeeze, letting him know that he wasn’t forgotten. Harry knew he felt bad that Harry wasn’t opening any presents, but honestly, he was just happy to be here and see how the lights off the tree set Louis off in a hazy glow and made him look beautiful.

“Now that that’s over with, who wants to watch a Christmas film?” Jay suggested, placing her empty tea cup on the coffee table.

“Love Actually?” Harry blurted out hopefully before he could stop himself. He felt his face heat up as Louis laughed, shaking his head.

“Really? Of all movies that’s your favorite?”

“Heeeeeeey. You said yours was Grease, they’re both very unmasculine so I think it’s a tie,” Harry protested.

“A tie? What is this like a contest?” Louis quipped, poking Harry in the side, making him squirm.

“Mum, tell Louis to stop being gushy with his boyfriend, it’s gross,” Lottie said from the other side of the couch, “plus, I’m squished against the side of the couch, like I can feel my rib imploding on itself.”

Harry was sure his face was as red as Louis’ was at the boyfriend comment, but Louis muttered something about ungrateful children before hoisting himself off the couch. Grabbing a green and brown throw pillow, he propped it under his head and laid in front of the telly, a little pout on his face. Jay shook her head and popped the movie in, since no one objected to Harry’s suggestion. 

“I’m getting too old for this. What is this rug made of, rocks?” Louis complained a minute into the movie, making Harry giggle into his hand.

“Come on you big baby, scooch over,” Harry said, getting up and joining him on the floor. He plopped down with an “oof!” and leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder, blinking up at him with his big doe eyes. “Better Little Lou?”

Louis shoved him off. “Nope now I have a gangly teenager on me and my bum is still sore.”

Harry snorted, whispering in his ear, “sounded like you got up to something else last night… are you sure you didn’t ravish me in my innocent sleep?”

Louis gasped and shoved him harder. _“Harold!”_

“Oh my god shut up you two please!” Lottie groaned, exasperated. Harry mouthed ‘sorry’ to her and mimed pulling a zipper over his mouth that even had Lottie fighting a smile, her lips twitching in the corner. 

They somehow acquired a blanket during the movie, which naturally led to the two of them wrapped up in it, sharing their heads on the one throw pillow, impossibly close. Just to see Harry squirm, Louis would sometimes put his un-socked foot on Harry’s bare ankles, making him jump from the cold. Harry could barely concentrate on the movie with Louis so close… if he turned his head _one inch_ they would be kissing. Which was a very dangerous thought in a room full of Louis’ younger sisters and his mother.

They all ended up watching a few Christmas movies, Jay getting up to start a fire in the fireplace in the middle of one of them, warming the cooler room up. It was nice to just sit back and relax, listening to the fire crackle, not having any obligations. Louis explained to Harry that Jay didn’t have any siblings and they were just having a low key Christmas with just the seven of them, which was fine by Harry. He felt a strong connection to Louis’ family, even after only knowing them a day. 

“Mummy, whens dinner? Me and Phoebe are hungry,” Daisy piped up when the movie Elf ended, the credits rolling down the screen in white lettering. 

“Er, now I guess. It’s so nice not to cook a huge dinner this year,” Jay said, standing up and stretching until her joints cracked.

“Mum burned dinner last Christmas so she swore off ever cooking it again,” Louis whispered to Harry.

“It was an _accident!_ ” Jay butted in, apparently hearing them, “stupid ham was asking for it. Plus, I have a fine microwavable pizza for everyone, how great does that sound?” 

“Microwave pizza is my favorite meal,” Louis joked, kissing her on the cheek and sitting down. He patted the wooden seat next to him, as if Harry wasn’t already planning on sitting right next to Louis. If he had a choice, he would rather sit on Louis’ lap, but he was sure Jay wouldn’t appreciate that very much. He was sure it was okay to kiss Louis whenever now, but he wasn’t sure how Louis thought about it in front of his family, so he kept his lips to himself. For now.

The girls set the table for everyone, not letting Harry help even after he insisted. Though, they did call Louis lazy for not helping, but Louis said that he had to keep Harry company, which was a complete lie. He just didn’t feel like getting off his arse. It was funny to see the girls putting out fancy plates for just pizza, but no one stopped them. Harry got a lovely white one with blue flowers painted on it.

Just as Jay set down the pizza, there was a loud knock on the door before someone just walked in anyway. “Heyoooo Tomlinson family what is up?!” they all heard from the front door. The voice was unfamiliar to Harry, but Louis’ face lit up and he scrambled up with a scrape of his chair. Harry tried to fight down the pang of jealously he got. 

“Malik! What brings you here?” Louis exclaimed, walking back into the kitchen with his arm slung around a guy’s waist. He was Harry’s age, maybe a year older, with sprinkles of stubble over his strong chin. He had raven colored hair artfully spiked up into a quiff and smoldering brown eyes that were lit up in a smile because of Louis. In other words, the bloke was beautiful. He even dressed good, wearing a leather jacket, a graphic tee underneath displaying some sort of words that Harry couldn’t make out, and dark jeans. Harry tried not to pout; who was this guy?

“Hi Zayn!” the girls chorused, Daisy already having pizza in her mouth and sauce all over her cheeks.

“Hello Zayn,” Jay smiled from her seat, “would you like something to eat?”

“Oh no Jay I just ate but thank you,” Zayn smiled, “and who might this be Lou? I can’t believe you didn’t introduce me, you’re rude.” Zayn turned his gaze on Harry, a little smirk on his lips, as if he could read Harry’s thoughts. Harry blushed and sat up straighter, feeling like a dirty wash cloth compared to Zayn with his unruly hair and yesterday’s jeans.

“Oh! Zayn, this is Harry, and Harry, this is Zayn, my best friend,” Louis gestured with his hands. Why didn’t Harry get a title? He didn’t know why he was stressing out, considering he knew Louis liked him, it was just… Zayn was the kind of beautiful boys Louis hung out with and it wasn’t fair. 

“Nice to meet you Harry,” Zayn smiled for real this time, leaning over and giving Harry a firm handshake, his spicy cologne in his nostrils. 

“You too,” Harry forced a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. 

“Okay, well I just wanted to say hi because I was in the neighborhood, I’ll get out of your hair,” Zayn announced, “but hey Lou we’re still on for New Year’s right?”

“Yeah, at Niall’s house right? I’m just making sure cause it was at yours last year,” Louis wanted clarification. 

“Yep,” Zayn nodded, “and just so you know I can’t drive you home or anything. Perrie said she needs a ride home from the party because…” he paused, obviously about to explain about her getting drunk, but thinking against it in front of Louis’ family, “well, when the girlfriend needs a ride home, she needs a ride home. Alright well I’ll see you guys soon. Bye Jay, bye girls, bye Harry!”

Harry wave goodbye and let out a breath he was holding. Zayn had a _girlfriend_. God, he was being stupid and jealous. Louis wasn’t even his _boyfriend_ for crying out loud. 

Louis slid back into his seat and squeezed Harry’s hand, as if he knew that Harry was jealous, and took a bite into his pizza, trying not to smile. Harry rolled his eyes but ate his pizza too. 

“When I get older I’m going to date Zayn,” Lottie said matter-of-factly, “he is proper fit.” Louis nearly choked on his pizza, coughing up a storm. Harry hit his back to help him as Lottie smiled proudly and Fizzy giggled into her milk glass. 

“You...” –cough- “…. Never… dating…” –cough- “….Zayn… _Ever_.” Louis wheezed, trying to take a sip of water. 

“I think they’d look cute together,” Harry joined in, making Louis gasp. 

“Not you too Harry!” he cried dramatically. 

“It’s in the name of true love,” he smirked, staring right into Louis’ eyes so Louis had to look away. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered quietly. 

Jay cleared her throat, “so Harry, what do you do? Like are you in uni, or working, or what?” 

“Oh! Um well I work in a bakery on the side and I’m in uni studying pre law and business,” Harry told her, hoping he didn’t sound like he was bragging. In his household, it wasn’t anything special because no one really cared what Harry was up to. He was sure his mum wouldn’t even care by now if he dropped out of school. He’s just really lucky he got a scholarship. 

“Wow, that’s tough schooling, good for you,” Jay praised. 

“Now you’re making me look bad again Harry,” Louis butted in, “all I’m doing is studying to be a drama teacher.” 

“Which is fine, you’re great with kids and you can sing. I think it’s perfect,” Harry said honestly. He wanted to add 'you’re perfect,' but he thought that might be a little bit too far. Louis smiled at him softly. 

“Where are you studying pre law?” Jay asked, taking a bite of her pizza. 

“University of Liverpool,” he answered, “I’m only staying there for the first two years and then transferring to University of Manchester. Manchester’s program is better, I just missed the deadline, so they said to get my credits at another uni before I could transfer over.” 

“That’s such a weird coincidence Harold,” Louis smirked, “I go to University of Manchester.” 

Harry couldn’t even deny his heart rate picked up speed. Seeing if their friendship (or relationship?) bloomed, he really didn’t have to say goodbye to Louis forever. In one year, he’d be going to the same university as him. Images of the two of them walking hand in hand across campus and snuggling up in their dorm rooms with textbooks around them, just giggling and studying flashed across his brain. He had to stop himself before he got too far ahead of himself… it had only been a _day_ for crying out loud. 

“Then you’re lucky that I’m gonna be there to keep your bum in line in a year,” Harry grinned, deeming for the light hearted response instead of the one that planned their romantic-movie-like future. 

“Who said my bum needs to be kept in line?” Louis challenged, pointing his pizza at Harry threateningly. 

“Everyone who’s ever met you,” Lottie snorted into her milk glass. Louis just stuck his tongue out at her and she scrunched up her nose. 

“Mummy, can we play a game or something? I’m done my pizza and everything,” Phoebe interrupted the dispute, proudly held up her plate, instantly making crumbs fall onto the table. 

“Like what?” Fizzy asked, sticking her thumb in her mouth to get the sauce off of it. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Louis whispered in his ear. 

“I want to,” Harry insisted, “how about some good ole Christmas hide and seek?” 

“Harry, that game is for five year olds,” Louis scoffed. 

“Well, you better pick a good hiding spot, ‘cause I’m ace at it!” Harry grinned.

“I think Lottie should be it,” Fizzy suggested. 

Lottie sputtered out protests while Daisy pouted, “hey no Lottie will just give up and we’ll be hiding for hours. That’s happened before, remember last Easter?” 

“Me and Daisy can be it, we’re a good team,” Phoebe volunteered. Daisy frowned but nodded, looking defeated. 

“Well, I’m gonna win, so good luck!” Louis exclaimed, his chair scraping against the kitchen floor as he got up and sprinted towards the stairs. So much for it being a kid’s game. Fizzy squealed and followed him out the door, Lottie sighing and walking into the living room, and the twins scurried into the bathroom to count, loudly screaming the numbers, leaving Jay and Harry alone. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head. “We can sure clear out a room, huh?” He got up and picked up his plate and another, heading over to the sink to wash them. He felt bad, since the other kids all left their plates at their chairs, most with leftover crust and crumbs dusting them. 

“Harry, no honey, go play, I can do this,” Jay protested. 

“You sure?” Harry asked, pausing in front of the sink. 

“Yes,” she smiled, “thank you, though.” 

Harry smiled back. “Well, the twins are gonna stop counting really soon so I should get a move on!” With that, he headed out of the room and up the stairs as Jay laughed behind him. He paused in the hallway, wondering where Louis hid. He creaked open the bathroom door, hearing a little voice for him to get out, coming from behind the green shower curtain. He tried a dark bedroom, probably Lottie’s, based on the posters of teenage heartthrobs littering the purple walls. He liked what she did with the fairy lights that were around the ceiling, just like his dorm room. He scanned the room and saw the white closet doors had a little crack and headed over, hoping it was Louis and not one of the other girls. 

Louis shrieked when Harry opened it, sounding more like the twins than he should have. “Jesus Harry, way to scare a guy!” 

Harry giggled into his palm, settling in next to Louis, trying not to get a boot or a sneaker up his butt. He kicked aside a sweater and leaned his back against the wall. The space was so dark he could barely make out Louis’ face, but he could tell he was staring at him, and all he could hear was their breathing. Harry then realized just how small Lottie’s closet was, and he felt his face getting hot, and he was pretty sure Louis could hear the sound of his heart beating fast. God, it was a game of hide-and-seek, he shouldn’t be sitting here getting uncomfortable in his jeans. 

He could feel the atmosphere around them, but yet he physically couldn’t stop himself from staring right back into Louis’ eyes. Louis lifted his hand and brushed Harry’s cheek with it and Harry’s eyes fluttered closed at his soft fingers, his breath coming out on Louis’ fingers. When he opened his eyes, Louis was a lot closer than he was a minute ago. There was so much Harry wanted to say, but the moment was too intimate; his breathing even sounded too loud. 

“Harry,” Louis whispered, almost to himself, and before Harry could respond, Louis’ lips were on his again. 

Harry immediately responded to the kiss, pulling Louis into his lap with a squeak from the smaller boy. He knew he was being over eager but kissing Louis was all he could think about when he saw the boy, with his big smile and pink lips. He couldn’t resist splaying his large hands over Louis’ bum, squeezing a bit, causing Louis to make a small noise of approval into Harry’s mouth. It made shivers go down to his feet as Louis pulled at one of Harry’s curls, their breathing very loud in the small space. 

“How inappropriate would it be if I sucked you off in Lottie’s closet?” Louis whispered into Harry’s mouth. Harry’s dick twitched in response and he groaned, kissing Louis more fiercely, pressing bruising kisses to his lips. Louis giggled at Harry’s enthusiasm and started to unbuckle his belt as he sucked on Harry’s neck. Harry was a bit worried that Louis would leave a mark, but his head felt light and at the moment he really didn’t care as Louis’ tongue flicked out. He didn’t even have time to think if they were moving too fast or if this would cause complications because his head was dizzy with want. 

Right as Louis was about to pull Harry’s dick out of his pants, the door to the bedroom swung open, banging against the opposite wall. “Hey Dais, I think someone’s in the closet,” Phoebe whispered, although it was too loud to really be considered that. 

Harry and Louis both froze as footsteps padded over, until they got to their senses and scrambled off of each other. Harry shoved his belt back into the loop right when the closet door opened. He was sure he was red faced with swollen lips, and his suspicions were confirmed when he looked over at Louis who looked as wrecked as he felt, with his hair was mussed up as he breathed too heavy. Harry could feel how hot the closet was as a whoosh of air came in with the opening of the doors. 

“Found you! Found you!” Daisy squealed, jumping up and down, “we win!” 

Phoebe was squinting at them, though, not paying any attention to her sister. “Why are you guys all sweaty?” 

“Uh… we got bored and started dancing to this song Harry had on his phone,” Louis lied, “but you guys were so good we had to quickly turn it off when you were near or you would find us. But the effort was lost because you did anyway.” 

“Oh, so ha ha we still win,” Daisy cut in again. Phoebe still looked confused but just shrugged at Louis’ hasty explanation. Thank god the twins were the ones looking – if it were Lottie, they would have never heard the end of it. 

“You guys are it now,” Phoebe told them, “'cause Lottie doesn’t wanna play anymore and Fizzy doesn’t either.” 

Louis gave Harry an apologetic look. Harry didn’t really wanna play anymore, but if Louis wanted to then he would. Hell, if Louis told him he wanted to go streaking through town he would. He barely knew the bloke and he was already head over heels. 

“Um, girls, Harry and I are actually gonna go do our own thing, if you don’t mind,” Louis finally decided. 

“You guys are no fun,” Daisy pouted, putting her little hands on her hips. 

“Sorry munchkin, but you should probably be going to bed soon anyway. It’s already 8,” Louis pointed out. 

“8?! Lou that’s so early,” Daisy protested, stomping her little foot against Lottie’s carpet. 

“But you have to get ready for bed and that usually takes one hundred hours,” Louis said, muttering the last part to himself. 

“Whatever you decide, can it please be out of my room?” Lottie materialized in the doorway, crossing her skinny arms over her chest. The grey sweatshirt she was wearing was big on her, baggy with the sleeves falling over her hands. Harry could bet a million dollars that it was Louis’ and the fact that him and his little sister shared clothes was something so cute he didn’t want to think about it. 

“Fine we’ll go,” Daisy pouted, “Pheebs, let’s go play with our new bratz dolls, because _they_ actually like us.” With that, she spun on her heel and marched out of Lottie’s room. Phoebe pouted but followed her sister a second after, her bare feet padding across the carpet. 

“Now that that’s over, let’s go have fun Harry,” Louis suggested, grabbing Harry’s wrist and yanking him out of Lottie’s room. His skin was burning where Louis’ hand was touching; he was sure Louis could feel his pulse quickening. Hopefully, Louis assumed it was from the running. 

“What do you wanna do?” Louis asked, “take my car and do wheelies down the street? Go streaking past Zayn’s house? Steal some wine from my mum and get drunk off our arses?” 

All of those ideas seemed highly appealing to Harry, but as he was going to answer, a huge yawn slipped out of his mouth that he couldn’t contain. He quickly tried to cover it up with his hand but Louis saw, trying his hardest not to smile. 

Or we could just get a fire going and I can make a cuppa for us each?” he suggested instead, already heading towards the kitchen. Harry nodded, even though Louis couldn’t see him anymore, loving the idea of cuddling up with Louis by the fireplace. It seemed very… domestic and boyfriendy and it made his stomach flip. 

Not sure whether to sit on the couch or not, Harry spotted a red oriental rug placed in front of the fire and decided to lay down on it, elbows first on his stomach. The heat from the fire felt good on his face, even if the rug was a bit itchy under his skin. In the dim lighting of the living room, he could already feel his eyes getting droopier. 

“Here you go sleepy bum,” Louis said, plopping down next to Harry, almost spilling both of their teas, “you know, I do have two perfectly good couches over there. Nice for your bony little bum. The poor thing probably shattered when you sat down.” 

Harry pouted and took the tea from Louis, careful not to spill it. The white mug was chipped a bit at the top, cutting into the words that said “#1 Mummy” in pink lettering. “Lou, I didn’t know you thought I was the #1 Mummy! It means so much,” he said, blowing a bit at the top to cool the tea down, the brown liquid rippling with his breath. 

“Indeed I do,” Louis played along, nudging Harry’s foot with his own. Even through his own sock, Harry could tell Louis’ feet were freezing and he jumped at the new temperature. 

“Louis put some socks on for god’s sake!” Harry trilled, making Louis laugh his tinkling little laugh. 

“What, are they cold?” Louis asked innocently, pressing his foot to Harry’s ankle. He promptly made Harry spill his tea on the rug and yelp, but Louis didn’t seem to mind as he laughed loudly again. Harry glared at him and sipped from his tea, the hot liquid still burning his tongue a bit. Louis put a little bit too much sugar in his tea, probably how Louis liked it and the reason why he was always so hyper, but Harry didn’t really mind. 

“Aw, Harry don’t be mad,” Louis whined. 

“Yeah yeah,” Harry mumbled, adjusting himself to get more comfy, but he couldn’t stop the grin that spread on his face. They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, in their own little worlds, watching the flames dance over the logs and sip their tea. 

“You know, your eyes have a bit of a tint in this lighting,” Louis said after a bit, matter of factly, “kind of flecks of gold spattered in the green.” 

Harry looked up saw Louis smiling at him softly. He didn’t even realize Louis was watching him and he felt a bit of a blush bloom on his cheeks. Louis really looked beautiful in the glow of the fire, though, all warm colors splayed across his high cheekbones, hair turning a more bronze color. 

Before Harry could voice his revelation, Louis was grabbing Harry’s finished tea mug and placing it on the wooden coffee table, ignoring Harry’s protests. He placed his there as well and started grabbing pillows off of the couches. He threw the red and brown pillows on the rug and snatched a matching quilt off the back of the beige couch. Before Harry could ask what he was doing, he yanked the blanket over the two of them and snuggled up into Harry’s chest. Harry turned on his side, giving his elbows a break and giving Louis more room to lie down. 

“Is that better?” Louis asked, “it looked as if you were uncomfortable and I quite frankly was getting a cramp, so.” He looked a bit shy, looking up at Harry through long lashes, but Harry just smiled and wrapped his arm around Louis’ smaller waist. Louis nestled his head into the crook of Harry’s shoulder and Harry pressed a soft kiss to Louis’ hair without even thinking about it. He was afraid Louis would react, but the older boy just sighed contently in Harry’s arms. 

Harry felt his eyes getting droopier than before, his stomach filled with warm tea, a pillow under his head, a blanket wrapped around his body, and a soft snuggly boy in his side. He couldn’t even fight them as they shut, and before he knew it, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for still reading xx


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a bit! Here's the next chapter x

Harry woke up to a beam of sunlight on his face, the glow casting an orange hue behind his closed eyelids. His eyes flew open, forgetting where he was, before he remembered falling asleep on the rug. He felt a warm weight curled up in his side and looked over to see Louis sleeping peacefully, the sunlight highlighting his cheekbones and his long lashes splayed on his cheek. Louis looked younger in his sleep without his usual mischievous smirk; his lips were parted slightly with the soft sound of his breathing coming through. Moving would not be ideal right now, considering Louis was on Harry’s arm (otherwise known as the source of why Harry’s arm was asleep), but Harry really wanted to stretch the kinks out of his neck and back from sleeping on the hard surface. He settled for rolling his head a bit on his neck, using his other arm to massage it, accidentally jostling Louis in the process.

“’S early isn’t it?” Louis slurred, his eye still closed, eyebrows drawn together. His voice was scratchier in the morning, but it still had hints of the higher pitched voice he normally had. 

“Not completely sure, actually,” Harry answered honestly. Louis just hummed in response, rolling over and yanking the covers with him. It hurt as the blood rushed back to Harry’s arm, pins and needles instantly filling the place Louis previously was. 

There was the sound of light footsteps on the staircase and Jay materialized, clad in a light blue robe and matching slippers, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. It scared Harry how much her eyes were similar to Louis’ what with the same color and the same crinkles when they smiled. 

She jumped a bit when she noticed the two figures lying on the floor. “Harry, what on earth are you boys doing up here?” she asked, running a hand through her mussed brown hair.

“It was an accident, we just got sleepy,” Harry awkwardly explained, hoping she didn’t think he had ulterior motives to sleep next to her son. 

“Might need a massage after that,” was all she said, fighting a smile as she walked into the kitchen. It seemed as if she was delighted at the prospect of Harry wanting to sleep next to Louis, which gave Harry hope. It would be really nice to have Jay on his side. He was pretty sure if she walked in on them having sex she would still be delighted, maybe even offering them a word of encouragement or two.

“People are trying to sleep,” Louis mumbled, pulling the blanket up to his chin with a frown, eyes still closed. 

“People who are trying to sleep should not sleep in the living room on the floor,” Jay called from the kitchen. Louis grumbled and turned over again as Harry tried to fight a smile off his own face. “Harry, hon, do you want some breakfast? A cuppa or something?”

“A cuppa sounds lovely,” he replied, stretching up his arms until he heard a satisfying crack. 

“What about you Lou?” All she got in response was a grunt. “I’ll take that as a no,” Jay rolled her eyes and turned to the white kettle on the stove. “By the way, Harry, the girls and I are going to their Nan’s today to play in the snow; we’ll be back around dinner time or so.”

“There’s snow on the ground?” Harry wondered aloud, hoisting himself up. He clambered to the window and peeked outside, and sure enough he was met with the sight of fluffy snow littered all over the ground. The sun reflected off it brightly, hurting Harry’s eyes a bit as he turned back to look at Jay.

“Make sure you two behave, yeah?” Jay said, a knowing glint in her eyes as she turned the whistling kettle off. She didn’t see Harry’s blush as her back was turned, thank god, but it just fully hit Harry that he was going to be alone with Louis. His stomach instantly filled with nerves, churning at the possibilities that could arise.

“Oh no problem,” he replied, a beat too late, “I’ll make sure this one isn’t acting out.” He glanced at Louis, who fell fast asleep again, the colorful lump of quilt rising and falling in time with his breaths. Jay just smiled in return, pouring tea into two clean mugs, both white and not as eccentric as the ones Harry and Louis used the night previous. 

Grabbing her mug, Jay spoke, “Well with that, I should be getting the girls ready so I’ll leave you to it.” He carefully sipped her mug, trying not to burn herself, as she headed back towards the stairs and back up to the bedrooms. 

Harry sipped his tea, unsure what to do with himself now that Jay left him to his own devices. He picked up his white iPhone to scroll through twitter to keep himself occupied. He tried to ignore the fact that his mother and his sister both didn’t text him once, not to check up on him, not even to wonder where he was or if he was okay. He found a few texts from school friends, including one from Nick that made him actually snort. At least _some_ people thought of him. 

Twitter got boring quick, after Harry had refreshed the page multiple times, the same dumb tweet from a girl in his history class popping up over and over again. It was such a perfect day to be in the snow, but it seemed silly to go outside by himself. 

“Lou, pssst, Lou, there’s snow on the ground,” he decided to wake the older boy up, shaking him lightly. 

“Harrrrrry, nooo,” Louis whined, pulling the quilt up higher.

“Do you wanna build a snowmaaaan?” Harry sang, a bit off key on purpose.

Louis groaned. “If you start singing bloody Frozen you’re banned from my house.”

“Come on let’s go and plaaaay,” Harry continued, a grin dimpling on his face. 

“If I get up will you stop?” Louis asked, his head popping up from the covers. His brown hair stood up in a soft tuft on the side of his head and Harry really just wanted to sprinkle kisses all over him.

“Cross my heart,” Harry nodded, even going through with the motion with his hand. Louis was biting down a grin. 

“In that case, I’m up,” he announced, throwing the quilt off himself, “where are the girls? They’re usually running around screaming at this point, especially with snow.”

“Er, your mum took them to your Nan’s,” Harry explained, feeling heat creep up his neck, praying Louis wouldn’t notice. He was very purposefully trying not to think of the fact he had a gorgeous boy alone with him. 

“So we’re home alone?” 

“Yeah.” It was silent for a bit as they both let that sink in. 

“Well, I’ll race you outside!” Harry finally said to break the tension, his voice a higher octave up. He averted his eyes from Louis and hoisted himself up as fast as he could, almost tripping over his own feet in his hurry to the door.

“You don’t even have on proper clothes!” Louis called after him, shaking his head. Harry assumed that he was following because he heard the soft pad of sock-clad feet behind him. Before Harry could open the door, Louis pushed him forcefully towards the closet, both arms extended straight. 

“You need clothes, I refuse to see your little curly head freeze,” Louis decided, opening the sliding hallway closet doors. It was almost bursting with assortments of colorful jackets and hats and scarfs and mismatching gloves. “You can wear whatever you want, honestly, I mean if it fits,” he added at the end, sizing Harry up. Harry willed a blush to not crawl up his cheeks. He couldn’t remember the last person that got him blushing like a fool so easily and it was truly irritating how his body embarrassingly wouldn’t listen to him. 

Louis started pulling hoards of items out and threw them in a pile on the ground for easier access. He stuffed his hair into a red hat with a pom-pom on top and slipped on a poofy black jacket with matching gloves. A little bit of his fringe poked out of the hat that Harry wanted to run his fingers through. He himself opted for a fluffy pink hat with two pom-poms hanging on the sides and a light blue heavy jacket with pink gloves to match. Louis looked him over and giggled. “You look like an overgrown five year old.” Harry stuck his tongue out at him and Louis giggled again and holy shit could he stop _giggling?_ It was bad for Harry’s heart. 

After they both stuffed their feet into snow boots (Harry almost breaking his toes trying to get them to fit) the two trudged outside. “Remind me why we’re doing this again? I’m fucking waddling Harry. _Waddling._ It’s bad for my tough image.”

Harry snorted. “Tough image? What because it looks like you got fucked into a mattress last night?” Harry asked innocently that had Louis sputtering, his face red.

“Don’t… don’t just say that! Jesus Harry I meant because waddling is like for ducks god damn it never mind,” Louis was so flustered, his rosy cheeks inflaming more. It was quite adorable.

The two were quiet for a bit as they walked, just the sound of their panting and their feet as they left trails of boot prints across the snowy lawn. “Now what do we do now that I’m freezing my bum off?”

Harry didn’t answer as he plopped down in the snow, back first. The cold seeped through his jacket as he tried not to shiver. He stared at the gray sky, the sun poking through the clouds, just moving his arms and legs back and forth. 

Louis’ amused face came into view, and the sun shined so bright around his head, like a halo, that Harry had to squint up at him. “You’re seriously doing snow angels? Are you sure you aren’t five?”

“Five and a half,” Harry immaturely quipped so that Louis rolled his eyes. In retaliation, before he could think too much into it, Harry yanked Louis down by his glove-clad hand so that Louis fell on his chest with a loud “oof!”

They both just lay there for a minute, staring at each other and feeling the press of their chests as they both panted. Even through all the layers he was wearing, Harry felt Louis’ body electric hot all over his skin. Harry acted like he couldn’t feel the tension and he broke into a full-fledged grin, teeth, dimples and everything, and Louis looked faint at it. Harry lifted his head and kissed Louis on his red nose, even though his lips were a bit chapped and Louis’ nose was cold on his skin. Louis’ eyes widened and his rosy cheeks colored a bit more.

“What was that for?” he asked quietly, almost a whisper. 

Harry shrugged, the motion moving the both of them, rustling their jackets. “You’re just too cute, Lou.”

“I think you missed, though?” Louis added, his comment coming out as a question, his eyes flickering down to Harry’s lips. Before Harry could grasp what he was getting at, Louis leaned down and captured Harry’s lip in a kiss. It was a bit cold, but Harry’s heart rate climbed anyway and he felt warm down to his toes despite the chilly weather. It was different from their other kisses: less intense and heated, more soft and tender. Harry had honestly never been kissed with such delicacy and care before and he was pretty sure his heart was going to burst. 

They slowly pulled apart after a moment, green eyes staring into blue. Before Harry could say anything, a loud vibrate came from the porch railing where they left their phones, both of their head snapping up to the loud incessant sound. 

“Nose goes to get the phones,” Louis announced, touching the tip of his finger to his nose before Harry could react. “Now you have to.”

“Heeeey,” Harry pouted, “not fair.” Louis just smirked and ungracefully rolled off of Harry so the boy could get up. It was difficult to hoist his gangly body up, especially with the poofy clothing, but he managed. He waddled after the phones, hoping Louis was too busy staring at the sky to notice how ridiculous he looked. He reached the phones just as the vibrating stopped and Harry sighed, clicking on his phone. It wasn’t his, so he moved over to Louis, who had a missed call from “Niall.” Whoever that was. 

“Hey Lou,” Harry called, “it was yours.” He looked over to Louis’ spot in the snow, and the boy popped his head up, leaning on his elbows.

“Who was it?” he asked.

“Someone named Niall,” Harry shrugged. Louis smiled at that though.

“The bloke probably wants a freaking snow play date,” Louis shook his head, “Liam too.”

“Oh, um, your friends?” Harry prompted. 

“Best, actually. And Zayn. But the sap is probably cuddling by the fire with his girlfriend. Here, hand me my phone would you?” 

Harry obliged and tossed the thing to Louis who barely caught it with his gloved hands. As Louis started to dial the number back, Harry didn’t really know what to do with himself, so he started to pick at a loose thread on his gloves. 

“Hey Ni! Sorry I just missed your call, what’s up?” he heard Louis ask, bum still buried in the snow. “I figured you wanted to,” Louis laughed, responding to what the lad on the other line was saying, “I can’t, though.” He glanced at Harry and crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue while Niall was talking and Harry giggled into his palms, his breath coming out in a visible cloud. “Oh why? Er, I’m hanging out with my, uh, friend Harry.” Whatever Niall said in response had Louis turn a lovely shade of red. “That’s what Zayn said, eh? Yeah, you can meet him on New Year’s. Okay. See you.” With that, Louis clicked off, forcing a smile on his face, knowing that Harry was going to ask a million questions. Which he was. What the heck did Zayn say? Harry was sure it was about him. 

“What did Niall want?” Harry asked innocently, sitting back in the snow.

“He wanted to hang out, as I guessed. See, our group always try to go sledding every year and when we do it’s like this huge thing, we go camping after, make a bonfire, the whole works,” Louis answered.

“Well that sounds like fun, I wouldn’t mind going,” Harry smiled. He really couldn’t remember the last time he went sledding, because a lot of his friends were older and thought it was childish. He did remember going with Gemma and his mum when he was younger, bundled up so tight he couldn’t move, wearing his favorite Spiderman winter jacket. Gemma would always force him to the back of the sled because she wanted the front so she could have the best view, but Harry didn’t mind because his legs wouldn’t cramp up that way. Harry mum would always watch from a bench and giggle at the twos’ antics. That was when the three of them were close, and Robin wasn’t in the picture and Gemma was in the house more than out of it.

“Oh, um, I already said no, I didn’t know you wanted to go,” Louis rubbed the back of his neck, his beanie moving out of place. “I can call him back if you want?”

“Sure! I mean I should get to know your friends since –“ Harry started, but cut himself off. _'Since I like you so much and want to be a big part of your life,'_ is how he wanted to finish it, but saying that aloud sounded ridiculous. 

“Since what?” Louis prompted, raising his eyebrow.

“Since we’re friends now too,” he decided on saying. Louis seemed satisfied with that answer and called Niall up again. Harry then remembered that he and Louis had the house to their selves and he just blew it, and silently cursed himself. Maybe it was better that way. Should the two of them get physical so fast when they haven’t even defined what they were? Harry had hormonal urges and could barely control himself around Louis, but he really was a romantic. He didn’t want to just have sex with Louis a lot, a fuck buddy. He knew Louis had a crush on him from that overheard conversation, but it seemed as ever since then Louis was afraid to do anything about it other than kiss him. Harry wanted to kiss Louis too, but he wanted to be his boyfriend more than anything.

Harry heard a tinny voice on the other line, a tell-tale sign Niall picked up. “So Niall, about that sledding trip…..” 

 

-

 

The two waited out front on Louis’ porch, waiting for what Louis deemed as “Niall’s creeper van” to show up. They were also now decked out in snow pants, because the sweatpants they had on earlier were soaked and froze them to the bone. They each had a bag next to them, packed with their overnight things, like a sleeping bag and a change of clothes and a hundred blankets and socks. Harry was told that Liam always brought the tents, so they needn’t worry about them. To Harry, sleeping in a tent in the middle of the bloody winter in the snow sounded freezing, but as Louis explained it was “cold as balls” but it was still really fun. They also made sure to call Jay a little bit ago so she needn’t worry once she got home to find the boys missing, and she was actually delighted that the two were spending time with Louis’ friends.

“Just so you know our group is a bit… overwhelming,” Louis fidgeted, “so, like, if you wanna go back at any time, let me know.”

Harry felt the side of his mouth quirk up. “I’m sure I’ll love them.”

Before Louis could answer, sure enough, a huge white van pulled up to Louis’ house, honking its horn very loudly. The front window rolled down and a guy with dyed blonde hair stuck his head out the window. “Hope you bitches didn’t bundled up too much ‘cause you’re gonna be blown to dust today while sledding!” he called, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

A female voice from inside the van shouted, “Niall, you idiot, that didn’t even make sense!”

“Did I forget to mention sledding is a little competitive to some of them?” Louis rolled his eyes, opening the sliding door for the two of them.

He was met with three friendly faces, all waving and smiling at him, and it might have been his imagination, but Zayn seemed to be smirking again, the only person he recognized. It was a little hard to forget Zayn’s face, anyway.

“Hello!” a pretty blonde girl waved, who was sitting on Zayn’s lap, although there was an empty seat next to her. “I’m Perrie.”

“And I’m Zayn, although we met on Christmas,” Zayn said, giving him a more genuine smile. He was a lot prettier when he smiled normal anyway.

“I’m Jade, nice to meet you, Harry!” the last person in the back said, a pretty olive toned girl with a huge bow plastered on her purple beanie. 

“I’m Niall, the craziest mofo in the world!” Niall called from the front, hooting.

“You know, Niall, calling yourself the craziest mofo kind of takes away the coolness of it,” a brunette in the front next to Niall explained, shaking his head a bit. “I’m Liam, by the way,” the boy said, smiling, his eyes crinkling up a bit as he did. 

“Hello everyone,” Harry smiled, waving his hand probably more enthusiastic than necessary. Louis climbed in first and Harry was happy the boy was in poofy snow pants so Harry wouldn’t be distracted by the curve of his bum like he normally was. Louis took Harry’s bag from him and threw both of the things into the trunk where there was already a pile of bags, all assortments of colors, and promptly plopped down into the empty seat next to Perrie and Zayn. Harry climbed in but paused as he took in the seats, noting there were no more, unless he sat on Louis’ lap. His face colored as he weighed what to do. He could sit on the floor, but would Louis be offended? Or did he just take the plunge and sit on Louis’ lap?

“Oh bummer, looks like there’s no more seats! Harry, sit on Louis’ lap, would you?” Zayn said finally, saving Harry from his humiliation. Harry was sure that Zayn knew there was something going on between them, but at this point he really didn’t care. He was sure that he wasn’t good at hiding the fact he liked Louis, in fact, he was sure that it was constantly all over his face.

“Er, Zayn, I think Louis is smaller than Harry, shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Perrie whispered loudly to Zayn, even though everyone could hear her. It wasn’t even apparent if she meant for everyone to hear it or not, because her blue eyes seemed serious.

“Hey! Perrie, I’m offended you think so little of me! No pun intended,” Louis frowned, getting up, “fine, you oaf, sit down.” He attempted to cross his arms, but he jacket made it a bit difficult.

“Jeez, taking it out on me, _I_ didn’t say you were small,” Harry grumbled, taking his place on the seat. Louis plopped down on his lap extra forcefully to show his disdain at Perrie’s comment, and Zayn snickered under his breath at it. 

“Are we finally settled? I think I’m growing a full beard up here,” Liam called impatiently. Harry didn’t point out that he _was_ kind of growing a full beard with the brown stubble littered all over his chin.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get this shit show on the road,” Louis replied for everyone, rubbing his gloved hands together.

The whole ride there Harry could only feel the weight of Louis on his lap and the warmth his body radiated and the soft fruity scent of his hair. It was hard to concentrate on the friendly chatter around him with Louis overwhelming him so much. He did manage to make comments here and there, even making the group laugh a bit, joining in on the banter and making fun of Niall, who always seemed to be the butt of the jokes. He liked Louis’ friends a lot, more than he thought he would, and he was really surprised how much he fit in with them and how much they seemed to like him back. It was getting easier and easier to see himself with Louis in the future for the long haul, as Harry was fitting more and more seamlessly into all of the spaces of Louis’ world. When Harry would make a dorky joke or tell an animated story, he would always catch Louis’ looking at him fondly, as if Louis was thinking the same exact thing.

A half hour later, Niall turned off of the main road onto a small one into the forest. He had to slow down a lot because the road here was not cleared and was still covered in snow, so much that the van left deep tire prints as it drove. 

They reached a clearing and Niall parked the car, exclaiming and deep announcer voice, “the group has arrived to the sledding Casanova for the afternoon, thanks to expert driver and vehicle provider, Niall Horan!” and proceeded to make fake crowd cheering noise as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

Harry looked at the window, a little confused. The place that the group ended up sledding at was not what he had expected. He was expecting a huge hill in a park, like the place he used to go when he was younger, littered with little kids and frustrated parents. Here, instead, was in the middle of the forest, the evergreen trees still coated in layers of snow and no sounds of any humans in sight. He assumed they would camp in the woods but he didn’t think the sledding involved the woods as well.

“So, er, where’s the sledding hill?” he asked as everyone started to hop out of the van. He climbed out of the side and then realized he didn’t need an answer. “Oh, never mind.” As he looked out, he noticed instead of a hill that went up, the whole forest was the “hill” and there was a deep valley next to the car. There was a nice slope going down where he assumed the sledding would take place, and even a nice grassy knoll to help them get back up the hill on the side of the valley. 

“Nice, ain’t it?” Louis nudged Harry with his elbow with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Yeah, it’s pretty up here,” Harry agreed, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm.

“Okay so we can only go one sled at a time or someone would get killed, most likely Niall,” Zayn explained, hoisting a red two-person sled out of the trunk of the van, his bicep bulging, “but two people can fit, so, it’s cool. Who wants to go first?”

“Me me me! I wanna go with Liam,” Niall announced, yanking the sled from Zayn’s hands. Zayn just rolled his eyes in response. Harry was learning that was the way to deal with Niall sometimes, the over energetic puppy of the group. Liam just looked at Niall fondly and shook his head, climbing into the sled behind the blonde boy. It was cute how close the two were; looking from how attached at the hip they were, some might assume they were dating, but it was quite obvious when you knew them that they were just close like brothers. 

“Someone push us, I wanna go really fast,” Niall ordered, and Liam looked a little green. Zayn rubbed his hands together mischievously and crouched down, getting a running start for the push.

“No, no, that’s not necessary I –“ Liam started, but Zayn cut him off and pushed the sled as hard as he could, cackling. The two took off, Niall whooping with joy, Liam with his eyes squeezed shut. Everyone cheered when they reached the bottom, Perrie even doing a loud whistle. Liam shakily stood up but he was grinning and gave the group a thumbs up. 

“Louis and Harry, you two wanna go?” Liam asked as he started the trek back up the top. 

Louis looked and Harry and smirked, “better not be scared, Curly.”

Harry scoffed. “As _if._ ” What he was scared of was having his legs wrapped around Louis from behind, the close proximity of their bodies. He was thankful there were so many layers between them or he could guarantee he would get a boner. Harry clumsily plopped into the sled, his boots making a loud thumping noise as they settled in the bottom of it. He patted his lap and grinned at Louis who rolled his eyes but hopped in. He shimmied into the little space in between Harry’s legs, and he knew he wasn’t imagining when he not so subtly wiggled his butt along Harry’s front to get comfortable. What a tease. Two could play at that game.

Harry leaned in, his lips brushing softly near Louis’ ear, his brown hair tickling him. He tried not to get distracted that Louis’ hair smelled like strawberry kiwi, no doubt a bottle stolen from his little sisters. “Wish you weren’t wearing so many layers Lou, I would love to see you naked,” his whispered so no one else could hear him. At that point it was go big or go home. He was half joking because he really wanted to get a rise out of Louis and normally wouldn’t be so blunt, but he loved seeing Louis squirm. Plus, he deserved it. And it’s not like Harry didn’t want to see Louis naked.

Just as he wanted, Louis turned a lovely shade of red, a sputtering mess, but then Zayn was pushing them and Harry barely got his arms securely around Louis in time. The rush was amazing, bigger than any other hill he’d sledded down, the wind pushing back the curly escaping his hat and making his eyes water a bit. He squeezed onto Louis extra tight, loved feeling the warmth and solid weight in his arms and he let out a giggle of joy once they reached the bottom. 

“I’ll pay you back later for that one,” Louis grumbled, but his face was glowing, his hair so cute and windblown. 

The sledding went on for a while, all of them taking turns. Some paired with other people, but Louis and Harry always stuck together, it never once getting boring. As night was falling, the group was losing momentum. Zayn and Perrie decided to take a walk through the woods, which didn’t exactly make sense because it was difficult to walk in their suits, but they made it work (although more often than not Perrie was waddling in her pink snowsuit). Jade and Niall were insistent to keep sledding, so the two of them kept at it, their loud laughs blending together through the trees. Liam decided he should set up the bonfire, because apparently it was custom that they started the bonfire right as the sun was setting. Harry and Louis ended up in the back of the parked van, sitting with the doors open, their feet swinging off the ledge. Harry really wished he had thought to bring hot chocolate, but he deemed it probably wouldn’t really be possible in the woods anyway.

“How’d you guys find this place anyway?” Harry asked, watching Liam as he stacked logs together. He talked in a quiet voice, even though no one would hear them anyway. This deep in the woods had a sort of serenity about it and Harry didn’t want to ruin it with his loud voice. Plus it was hard to talk to Louis loudly when all he looked was soft and cuddly all bundled up.

“Just we four guys found it first. We were supposed to go to this special ski lounge, although none of us can ski except Liam. We just wanted to sled, though, and it was the only hill we knew. But Niall insisted Liam’s directions were wrong, and of course, we got lost. We pulled off the road here to get our bearing straight and then we noticed the little gem past the trees,” Louis explained, “it was just our little secret, but then Zayn started dating Perrie and she started bringing around Jade and we all kind of started going here together. Liam was annoyed at first that our little spot was introduced to girls,” Louis shook his head, laughing, “so protective that Liam.”

“So are you like actually friends with Perrie and Jade, or is it more of a, oh, Zayn’s girlfriend and her friend?” Harry asked, curious of how the whole thing started. The whole group seemed really close, but he wasn’t sure if that was because they were all so open and friendly. Hell, look at him, he barely knew the people and from an outsider it would look as if he knew them for years.

“Oh no, we love Perrie and Jade. They come 99% of the time unless we lads just want to hang out. At first we all kind of clashed though, because Perrie wouldn’t talk much and just hung on Zayn’s arm. Then we all just realized she was shy at first and now she’s this crazy bundle of energy. Jade at first seemed like she thought she was too cool for us, but then we realized she’s just as dorky as we all are. Well, I mean, _I’m_ not a dork, but I got saddled with the dorkiest of them all. Especially Zayn, even though he tries not to show it behind his cigarettes and leather jackets.”

Harry giggled at that. “So, did all four of you meet the same year, or what? How did that friendship bloom?” He asked because he was curious, yes, but he also loved watching Louis talk. He could do it all day, listening to his soft voice and the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he cared about. Honestly, Louis could sit and read the dictionary to Harry and he would hang on every word.

“Well Liam and Niall grew up together, which seems obvious. Niall moved here when he was five from Ireland and Liam was his next door neighbor and the two of them became attached at the hip. Zayn and I meet in college, when he transferred from a private school to be in our public one and we became best friends. And well, he kind of got kicked out of his private school for refusing to shave his beard and take out his piercings, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. I met Liam in university and he started bringing Niall around and I brought Zayn around and there you have it.”

Harry felt a pang of sadness that he wasn’t part of this world that he wanted to so badly be a part of. He was jealous these people knew Louis for years when he was just merely meeting him, and they were a part of making him the person he is today. They knew him in a way Harry could only dream about.

Harry wanted to know everything about Louis, from all his memories to his fears to his little quirks. He was gradually getting to know them, but he wanted more; he wanted to memorize the lines around Louis’ eyes when he smiled and the curve of his lips around his morning tea. He wanted to know Louis inside and out and all he really needed was the okay from Louis, something he didn’t seem to be getting, just ambiguous hints. Only, although Harry wore his heart on his sleeve like a neon sign, he was not one to vocalize his thoughts to the boy plaguing his mind. 

Which is why when Louis asked Harry what he was thinking, Harry blanched. 

“Harry, jeez, it looks like your contemplating your whole world right now, what is in that brain of yours?” Louis asked, staring at him curiously.

“Er, just wondering if Liam has enough logs for the fire,” Harry lied, a blatant lie that Louis saw right through, but thankfully didn’t comment on. They both watched as Liam lit a newspaper and threw it onto the flames, which started to grow slowly, licking up the logs. Liam glanced up and noticed the two and raised his eyebrow. 

“Did ‘ya wanna help or something, lads?” he asked, pulling his gloves back on.

“Sure, we should set up the tents, shouldn’t we?” Harry suggested, hopping off the van. He jumped at the opportunity, because being around Louis was making him feel itchy and claustrophobic and he really needed to go something with his hands before he did something he’d regret.

“Yeah, good idea, but make sure Louis helps because the shit usually hides when we set up the tents,” Liam warned and Louis laughed.

“Sorry I’m not Mr. John Deer!” he protested, pulling the black bag out of the trunk. “Shit, this is heavy,” he exclaimed, dropping it on the ground with a rattle as all the poles moved inside.

Harry giggled and lifted the not-so-heavy remaining tent bag out of the van with one arm, making sure his flexing bicep was facing Louis. He was sure that it didn’t work since the little fact that he was wearing a jacket that completely covered his bicep, but hey, he still tried.

“Show off,” Louis muttered, sitting back in the trunk and leaning back on his elbows.

“So, I’m guessing you’re not gonna help,” Harry concluded at the lounging Louis who just grinned at him close-mouthed and crinkly eyed.

“Told you,” Liam sighed, coming over and grabbing Louis’ abandoned bag. The two worked in a comfortable silence for a bit, Louis humming and asking questions here and there that they both steadfastly ignored. 

“I hate how these stupid directions are in Swedish,” Liam complained, staring at the white piece of paper in frustration.

“We don’t need instructions, Liam,” Harry told him, to which Liam just stuck his tongue out at him. Harry didn’t understand why Liam was complaining, because a minute later, his tent was standing up perfectly. “So, er, Liam, about those instructions…” Harry started, making Liam chuckle.

“Here, let me help,” Liam offered, taking the two poles from Harry and sliding them into place. Harry didn’t question it and sat back down next to Louis, watching Liam work. The dark green tents stood out against the bright white color of the snow, especially now that there was a pile of it next to the tents where Liam shoveled it to make room for said tents. They were pretty roomy, with black netting for windows that could be covered with a zipper, and a small door that Harry could tell he’d have to fold himself in half to get through.

“Back to where we started,” Louis commented, “see this is why it’s easier to let Liam do everything.” Before Liam could protest, Zayn and Perrie were coming back from their walk, gloved hand in gloved hand, glowing with happiness.

“Please tell me you didn’t have sex in the woods,” Louis deadpanned, making Liam and Harry sputter with laughter and Zayn narrow his eyes.

“Just because you haven’t got laid in forever, Louis, doesn’t mean you have to be bitter,” Zayn retorted, smirking, and Harry suddenly felt hot. Was it bad he was glad Louis wasn’t having a lot of sex before he met Harry? Louis blushed all the way up to his hair roots as he tried to come up with a proper response.

“And for the record we didn’t you pervert,” Perrie walked over to Louis, hitting his arm and promptly doing no damage because of all the padding on his arm from the fleece jacket he wore.

“Hey, both tents are ready ha ha!” Liam butt in, his voice strangled, trying to change the subject because he was clearly uncomfortable. It was obvious the two were just joking around with each other, though, taking the complete piss out of each other as only best friends could do. Louis took two fingers and put them to his eyes and then pointed them at Zayn in an “I’m watching you” gesture and Zayn flipped him off, but then the two were laughing.

“Did we bring marshmallows this time? Because Niall is _starving_ ,” Niall materialized out of nowhere, trudging up to the group with Jade in tow.

“Niall, I’m not really sure that marshmallows really fill you up,” Liam laughed, “plus it’s like, super creepy referring to yourself in third person.”

“Yeah, it really scares Harry,” Harry joked, making everyone laugh. He didn’t care about the others laughing though, corny as it sounded, because he only listened for Louis’ tinkling laugh above everyone else.

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road because creepy as Niall is, he’s right, I really am craving marshmallows,” Jade announced, plopping down on one of the lawn chairs Liam had set up. 

Harry smiled, sitting down right next to Louis. It was a while since he actually had a bonfire, and these people were a great laugh. He just knew it would be a good time, especially as he looked at Louis’ soft smile next to him. Yeah. Definitely a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was more of a filler-ish chapter so the next one's better! x


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering about the random Meghan character I promised the real Meghan that she could be in the story 
> 
> (hope you like her Meggy :) )

It took a bit, but the group all got settled and then started passing the supplies to s’mores around, complete with the chocolate, graham crackers, and marshmallows. Louis even started a bit of a food fight, sticky marshmallows flying everywhere, which Harry then joined in enthusiastically, both of them cracking up. Liam ordered them to stop when it got stuck in his hair, which made them laugh even harder. He loved how childish Louis was, even when he claimed he wasn’t, which fit right in with how Harry was. Nick always claimed he was an eight year old boy stuck in an eighteen year olds’ body. He was pretty sure that’s why Louis and he got on so well. They finally stopped when Perrie threatened to leave the circle as she peeled a marshmallow off of her jacket, leaving a sticky white residue. Niall then made a joke about cum, which had them all in hysterics again but earned them all a smack on the back of the head from Zayn.

By time they were done eating the s’mores and got all the giggles out of their system, the sun was completely set. A calm serenity passed over the group, probably due to the majestic qualities of the fire as it burned bright against the darkness. 

“Y’know,” Niall started, staring at the fire, the first one to speak, “it’s really crazy that I even come back into these woods after last time I was here.”

“Wasn’t your last time with us?” Louis snorted, “I don’t remember anything happening that was scary. Well, aside from when I walked in on Zayn getting changed. That was truly horrifying.”

Zayn snorted, “you loved it babe!” and made kissy faces at Louis, who grabbed Harry’s beanie off of his head and proceeded to fake vomit into it.

“No, no, stop, I mean it! Listen to me!” Niall had to raise his voice over the loud laughter of the group. They all quieted down to quiet snickers as they waited for Niall to continue. Harry was biting his lip to keep from laughing again.

“Okay, the last time I was here, I was with Greg,” he continued, “for you newcomers, aka young Harold, Greg is my older brother. Anyway, we were in a tent here in the summer and when we were trying to fall asleep, we kept hearing this crackling. Almost like… footsteps on sticks. Crack…. Crack…crack… we heard it, getting louder and louder. We saw a shadow looming over our tent too, the shape of a man with a knife as we looked up, and we were both frozen with fear, but by some miracle the shadow passed by. We went home early the next morning and when we got home, on the news they were talking about a group of campers who all got stabbed to death. I swear guys, me and Greg were almost dead meat.”

It was quiet for a minute before Zayn snorted. “That’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard! Why would he spare you guys?”

“Maybe skinny Irish guys aren’t his type,” Louis suggested, shrugging as Harry swatted at him.

“Play nice,” he warned, but he was grinning at Louis, who smiled back.

“Maybe he smelled better bait in the distance,” Perrie added, in which Jade snickered.

“Smelled? Perrie, he’s not a freaking dog! What is this, a werewolf now?” Jade cackled and Perrie threw the empty marshmallow bag at her as Jade ducked.

“Yeah, maybe it _was_ a full moon! Niall, holy shit, did you almost get attacked by a werewolf?!” Zayn joined in, dramatically fake-cowering.

“Or _maybe_ -“ Liam was about to say something when he was cut off with a loud crack, the sound of sticks getting walked on. The whole group paused, and he even heard Perrie take in a surprised breath and hold it.

“See I told you!” Niall whisper-yelled, his voice squeaking as the crack was heard again louder. Harry could feel his skin crawl; he didn’t really believe Niall, but there was a small part of him that did. He hated scary movies with a passion and refused to watch them because he got so scared so easily. The few times Nick actually did bully him into it, he would cower under the covers, sweating, and would jump at every scene, even if he didn’t see the bloody monster. In short, Harry was terrified right now.

There was another loud crack, the loudest of all of them, and a small whimper from Perrie as she cowered in Zayn’s arms, whose own mouth was turned down in a frown. 

Not really sure what he was doing, Harry unthinkingly grabbed Louis’ hand and intertwined their fingers the best he could with the thick gloves he had on and gave Louis a panicked look. Louis squeezed he hand back and gave him a soft smile. Harry was about to weakly smile back when a figure emerged from the woods. 

And that was it for Harry.

He let out the highest peel of screaming he’s ever screamed, sounding like the littlest of little girls, throwing his arms over his head in the process and ducking down. There was a pause and then a round of hysterical laughter, making Harry lift his head in curiosity. He looked up and saw what the sound was; a girl with striking green eyes and shoulder length brown hair streaked with blonde highlights. She looked highly confused as everyone around her laughed, standing there in her black winter coat and black-and-white checkered beanie atop her head. 

The rest of the group couldn’t stop laughing at Harry though, especially Louis who was clutching his sides from laughter. Harry felt his whole face burn in embarrassment for getting so scared, and sat there with his arms crossed and his lips pouting.

“Harry, babe, you are so freaking adorable,” Louis wheezed, biting his lip as he tried to hold in his laughter but was failing.

“Heeey, guys, stop making fun of me,” Harry whined.

“Sorry, sorry,” Louis apologized, kissing Harry quickly on the lips, causing his face to redden even more, but leaving a smile on his face.

“I’m not sorry,” Niall cackled his hyena laugh, “that was the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

“Am I really that scary?” the girl finally piped up, the group forgetting she was there for a minute. She had a nice voice, soft and surprisingly very American. It suited her well, as she was very short and very adorable in her snow gear with rosy cheeks against her pale skin.

“Oh, sorry, no, no,” Liam quickly explained to make her feel better, “our friend just told a scary story and you came in and scared him.”

“Perfect timing, though, by the way, cheers,” Zayn gave her a thumbs up, smiling. Harry was sure that she was going to pass out from one of Zayn’s smiles, like most girls did, but she actually seemed immune to it. Huh.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Perrie asked, concern in her voice, “it’s the middle of the night, freezing, in the woods. Are you alright?” 

“Actually, not really,” the girl sighed, shrugging as if the whole thing didn’t bother her, but Harry could tell by the slump of her shoulders something was bothering her, “my mom and I got in another fight, and I went on a walk two hours ago before sundown and then I got lost because we’re on vacation and I really don’t know the area well and I….” she paused, realizing she was saying a lot for people she met two minutes ago, “I just, er, I’m lost.”

“Well, you surely can’t walk back home in this late of night!” Perrie exclaimed, her maternal instincts kicking in, even though the girl looked only a year younger than Perrie herself, “why don’t you stay with us?”

“As long as you don’t have any maiming weapons,” Louis chimed in.

“Maiming weapons free,” the girl confirmed, “are you sure though? It’s no problem I don’t want to be a bother….”

“Oh please, you can’t be any more of a bother than Louis,” Zayn told her, making Louis smack him on the back of the head.

“If you insist…” she murmured quietly to herself. She took a deep breath. “Well, in that case, I’m Meghan and I’d just like to say I’m incredibly gay.” It was silent for a moment, seeing if she was kidding, but her face was serious. Harry was the first to laugh at her joke and everyone else joined in. She actually looked a little nervous, hoping the group wasn’t homophobic. She must have missed when Louis kissed Harry on the lips earlier.

“Well I’m Harry and I’m also incredibly, _super_ gay,” Harry offered, smiling at her, which her tension seemed to seep out of her body as she smiled back. She had a lovely smile, Harry noted, and as he glanced up he saw Jade staring at her, mesmerized. He actually forgot Jade was even there for a bit, as she’d been really quiet ever since Meghan arrived, which Harry thought was suspicious. She wasn’t the most talkative girl but she still had her input a lot.

“I’m Louis, and wait… is it still funny if I say I’m incredibly gay too? Because I am,” Louis introduced himself, earning a chuckle from everyone.

“Well, I’m Zayn and honestly this is too much gay for me to handle,” Zayn joked as Louis kicked dirt up at him.

“Zayn you’re gayer than me, you take like three hours to do your hair!” Louis exclaimed, “look at it! No straight man can pull that off!”

“Fuck off Lou, just because you’re jealous of my hair…” Zayn started, but Liam cut him off.

“I’m not gay, but you can call me Liam,” Liam said quickly, extended his hand out to Meghan with a smile. She laughed and took it, her small hand getting swallowed whole by his large one.

“I’m Perrie and I’m sure if I were gay, Zayn would be pretty upset,” Perrie giggled, kissing Zayn on the cheek dramatically, earning a round of “boos” from everyone else and she then pouted. “Sorry you guys are scrooges to love!”

“Well I’m Niall and I wish I were gay, but honestly, shit, I love tits too much,” Niall added, making everyone laugh. 

“Cheers to that mate,” Zayn chuckled, earning a halfhearted hit from Perrie.

They all then looked expectantly at Jade, expecting her to keep going with the gay introducing joke, but Jade blanched, her face reddening. “I…. hi, I’m er, Jade.” She fidgeted with her hands, looking nervous and not making eye contact with Meghan. It was quiet for a second, an awkward beat, before Liam clapped his hands together once.

“On that note, I’m really tired, so I think I’m gonna hit the sack,” Liam announced.

“You’re no fun Liam! It’s like, ten o’clock at the latest,” Perrie pointed out, pouting. 

“Hey I never said you guys had to sleep! What are the sleeping arrangements though? It’s usually the four boys in one tent and the two girls in the other but clearly there are two additions to our party, so,” Liam pointed out.

“How about the three girls together and the five guys?” Harry suggested. He didn’t really care where he slept, unless it was by Louis. 

“Ha, not happening,” Louis shook his head, “how about Zayn sleeps with the girls? It wouldn’t be uncomfortable for Meghan because he has a girlfriend and the said girlfriend is in the tent, too. Then it’ll be four and four.”

“It might be uncomfortable when said boyfriend and girlfriend have sex next to you,” Niall said, earning a round of laughs.

“Ha, ha, so funny,” Perrie sniffed, “as if Zayn and I would stoop that low.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Liam said exasperatedly, “I think that set up is good. Now I’m going to bed. Make sure when you all go to bed to get the battery heated blankets or you’ll probably freeze in the night like Niall did last time.”

“That was _one_ time!” Niall cried, adamant. 

“I’m glad Liam is in our tent,” Louis leaned in close to Harry to talk quietly, “he’ll set up the whole inside. Even our sleeping bags. It’s just how he is. If you’re tired, just wait it out and you won’t have to do anything.”

Harry giggled. “You really are a lazy shit, aren’t you?”

“The laziest,” Louis grinned, laying his head on Harry’s lap and grinning up at him. Harry debated carding his fingers through Louis’ hair, but he realized it wouldn’t have the same effect with his stiff gloves on. Harry started to hum softly to Louis, whose eyes were getting droopy, and Harry decided to wrap his arms tightly around Louis’ waist, who was still lying on his lap. He was sure his arm was going to fall asleep, but he didn’t really care. 

“I know what you guys are doing,” Liam’s voice came muffled from inside the tent, “and just so you guys know the tent’s interior is set up. So you dicks can go to bed now if you want!”

“Love you Li!” Louis called back, his eyes still closed, enjoying the fire’s warmth. 

“Did you wanna actually go to bed now? I’m a little tired and I reckon you are too, based on the fact you can’t keep your eyes open,” Harry suggested.

“Mmm,” Louis hummed back, in what Harry deemed as agreement. Louis groaned as he pulled himself up off of Harry’s lap with a lot of effort, heading over to the tent. Harry followed, glancing behind him to see who else was up. He could see Zayn and Perrie’s shadows inside their tent already and Niall was following the boys to their tent. Jade and Meghan were still sitting, talking quietly, their chairs angled towards each other and very close. Jade had stars in her eyes as she talked to Meghan, and he could only really see Meghan’s profile, but it looked like she was smiling. It was nice Meghan had someone to become friends with after her journey through the woods, and it seemed as if Jade would be that perfect friend to her. As Harry stepped into the tent, he heard Jade’s loud laugh behind him at something Meghan said, the sound getting muffled as Niall closed the tent.

Liam’s figure was already under his sleeping bag, the lump huge with all of the jackets and blankets he had covering him. Harry noticed that Liam set up Harry’s and Louis’ sleeping bag next to each other, which he was sure was done on purpose. Louis’ was in the middle next to Niall’s as well, probably in an effort to make Harry feel comfortable so he wasn’t sleeping next to people he just met that day, which was very thoughtful of Liam. It was cute that Louis’ sleeping bag had Disney princesses on it, bright against the pastel pink background, obviously taken from one of the girls, although he wasn’t sure that Louis was even going to fit in it.

As predicted, Louis was struggling to slip into the sleeping bag, as it only came up to his waist. “I probably should have thought this through more,” Louis huffed, shifting to try to fit better, which didn’t work. “Fuck it,” he muttered, unzipping the thing and laying on top of the open bag. Harry giggled as he slipped into the dark brown sleeping bag Louis let him use. He tucked it in all the way up to his chin and looked over at Louis and a self-satisfied grin.

“You’re lucky you’re a huge giraffe so I gave you the big brown one, as thoughtful as I am,” Louis sniffed, shifting to attempt to get comfortable again. He must have elbowed Niall in the process because he responded with a grunt and an unintelligible mutter that sounded like “stop moving around you twat.”

It was quiet for a bit, everyone drifting off into sleep, but Harry felt wide awake. Louis was sleeping next to him again, and although there were many layers between them, he felt electrified, itching to touch. All he could hear was Liam’s deep breathing and a slight snore coming from Niall, as the two had already fallen asleep fast. Harry stared at the roof of the tent, wishing there was a screen on the top so he could see the stars in the night sky, but instead he just watched the dark shadows of the trees branches sway as the wind blew. 

“Harry?” he heard a whisper next to him, making him jump. Louis’ voice was loud in the serenity of the night, even though his voice was a whisper.  
Harry turned his head and saw that Louis was already staring at him with sleepy blue eyes. “Yeah, Lou?” he whispered back, scared to talk above a whisper in case they woke the two sleeping next to them.

“I can’t sleep,” Louis replied, “I’m cold.”

Harry rolled his eyes, fond. “You probably should have thought of that before you packed a little girl’s sleeping bag.”

Louis shrugged, his jacket rustling with the movement. “Bad decision on my part, I admit. But what should I do? There’s no more blankets.”

“Not my problem,” Harry teased, even though he knew what Louis was getting at.

“Hey, not nice, you shit!” Louis pouted, “can I share your blanket? Pleeassee? My feet are freezing in these boots too. Liam and Niall took the last heated blankets. I think I’m gonna have frost bite. Maybe frost bite on my dick and it’s gonna fall off. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” 

Harry tapped his chin, pretending to think. It was pretty chilly, even under his blanket, and he was sure Louis’ body heat would help. But his toes were cold in the black barely padded boots, especially from being in the snow all day. He thought about how nice heating would be right now, and then he felt like a puss because they all did this every year and he could barely stand one night without heat. He heard Louis’ teeth chattering next to him, not sure if it was exaggerated for his benefit, but he glanced at the van through the window and got an idea. “Hey Lou?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you be totally opposed to losing our man cards and sneaking into the van to sleep? We can put the heat on and everything,” Harry suggested, already picturing laying out their blankets in the humungous trunk and cuddling up near the vents together.

Louis paused, weighing the option. “I feel like I already lost my man card when I whipped out the princess sleeping bag,” he mused, “let’s go before Niall and Liam wake up.”  
They both hurriedly got up, trying not to make a lot of sound in their swooshing jackets. They tried to gather their blankets in their hands the best they could, unzipping the tent with fumbling fingers. Harry almost tripped out of the tent, and both of them let out little giggles they tried to hide but failed. 

Zipping the tent back up, the two trudged over with their stuff, popping open the trunk, thankful it was already unlocked. Harry ungracefully hopped in, pulling himself forward by his hands on his stomach. He grabbed Louis by the arms and pulled him in the trunk too. Harry climbed in and thanked god that the keys were still in the ignition, just not turned on. He was sure Niall kept it like that so that he wouldn’t lose it, because he was pretty sure earlier in the day he heard Zayn teasing about a past occurrence of that exact thing happening on a past trip. He twisted the key to turn the car on and turned the heat dial up as far as it could go to warm them up. 

“I’m gonna heat it up now but just remind me to turn it off, cause we can’t keep it on all night, unfortunately, because you know, we’d run out of gas,” Harry explained, crawling back over to the makeshift bed Louis created in his absence. He noticed that his sleeping bag was unzipped and acting as the cushion for them because it was so fluffy, and the princess blanket was thrown on top to use as their covers. Some other blankets that were already in the trunk were thrown on top as well. He felt his stomach flip at the fact that Louis wanted them to sleep next to each other, not confined to their own sleeping bags. Granted, Louis didn’t fit in his, but still, Harry liked to think it was for the romantic reason, not for comfort.

“Tada!” Louis exclaimed, grinning as he plopped down on the blankets, yanking the princess blanket up to his chin. “This is so much better, I’m gonna cry. Can you pull off my boots? They’re so uncomfortable.”

“Won’t your feet be cold by the morning?” Harry asked, but the whipped little puppy he was, he started untying Louis’ boots immediately and pulled them off.

Louis shrugged. “Probably. I put on a few extra socks though, so hopefully my toes will make it through the night.” Harry shrugged and kicked off his boots as well, not wanting his feet to be confined in the small space. “Well, goodnight Harry, sleep tight.”

“Night, Lou,” Harry answered, a yawn in his voice.

He tucked himself under the blanket, the two of them not touching, Louis looking in the other direction. The tension was palpable in the space, and all Harry wanted to do was touch Louis. He tentatively wrapped his arm around Louis waist, and he heard Louis suck in a breath. He then relaxed into Harry’s touch, actually leaning into it and scooting closer in Harry’s arms. Harry smiled into Louis hair, loving how coupley this position was. Friends didn’t do this, right?

He still couldn’t fall asleep, even as Louis’ breathing slowed down into a deep sleep. His mind was awake and he felt jumpy, his heart racing and he couldn’t place why. He had an inkling it had to do with the sleeping boy next to him. He felt stiff and hot in his jacket so he slowly extracted himself from Louis to peel off his jacket and snow pants. The long sleeve black t-shirt he was wearing and gray sweatpants were more suitable for sleeping. As he started pulling his jacket off, Louis’ head lifted from his pillow, looking at him confused.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled with sleep. 

“I’m hot, sorry,” he apologized, feeling stupid for waking up Louis.

“No, me too,” Louis nodded, already looking more awake. They both sat there for a minute, taking off layer by layer, until they were both only in their sweatpants and long sleeved shirts. Even though he was taking _off_ layers of his clothes, Harry was starting to feel hotter, based on the fact Louis was too. He just wanted Louis to take everything off. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Louis asked, feigning innocence, but Harry could see the mischievous glint in his eye. Harry blushed, feeling creepy. Was it that obvious how much he was checking Louis out?

“I, er, well –“ Harry started, but Louis was already crawling over to him, putting a finger against Harry’s lips. The moment was intimate, as they both stared into each other’s’ eyes, Harry’s breath coming out shallow on Louis’ finger.

“Harry, will you just shut up and kiss me already?” Louis whispered, and Harry just nodded, not trusting his voice enough to say anything coherent. The air was silent as they both leaned in, not wanting to shatter the peaceful air, the intimate moment, the perfect innocence as their lips barely grazed each other, just the sounds of their softs breaths in the night air. Louis’ lips were really soft despite the cold weather, and Harry couldn’t help himself as he pressed his lips harder against them, more insistent. Louis got the message as he kissed deeper back, their lips moving in a perfect rhythm against each other, their own special choreography. Louis grabbed Harry’s hair, a little harder than he probably meant, but it felt so good that Harry moaned a bit in Louis’ mouth. It seemed that was the turning point for their innocent kiss as Louis slipped his tongue into Harry’s mouth, their tongues exploring and insistent. 

“This,” Louis started, pulling at the hem of Harry’s shirt, “this needs to go. _Now_.” Harry jerkily nodded, pulling back and lifting his arms a bit as Louis pulled it off for him. Louis stared at his body as hungrily as he did the first time he saw Harry shirtless, making Harry shiver, not from the cold. In fact, the car already seemed too hot.

Harry didn’t even ask permission as he went to yank off Louis’ shirt too, and Louis giggled into Harry’ mouth as he did so. “Eager, aren’t we?” he teased, pulling it off himself. Harry wasted no time raking in Louis’ body with his eyes and he actually had to stop himself from making a sound. Louis had a bit of curves, but his abs still had definition and dear god Harry just wanted to kiss him up and down.

Louis pulled him back in for a kiss, Harry still in a bit of a daze. His mind felt back on alert as Louis started to pull off his sweatpants though, and he was almost embarrassed by how excited he was already. Louis started teasing him, slipping his pinky in the waistband of his boxers, even snapping the band.

“Jesus Lou, just pull them off already,” Harry murmured against Louis’ lips. Louis muttered something about Harry being a “bossy twat” jokingly as he took Harry’s boxers in his hands and pulled them down, Harry’s length bobbing free. Louis didn’t look down yet, still kissing Harry’s lips until they were swollen.

“I have a confession,” Harry said into the kiss with a shaky voice.

“Mmm?” Louis answered, moving over to Harry’s neck so he could speak freely. It was harder for him to concentrate, though, as Louis started sucking on the sweet spot on his neck, nipping a bit and running his tongue over the mark.

“Fuck,” he muttered, before collection his fuzzy head, “Lou, I, um, okay I’ve never actually done anything with a boy okay? Other than some sloppy make out sessions. I came out last year, but I don’t know it’s just never happened….” He admitted, closing his eyes. His neck felt cold as Louis pulled away.

“Are you serious?” Louis asked, making Harry’s eyes pop open. Louis was staring at him seriously, making Harry feel self-conscious.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, feeling dumb. Louis bit his lip, looking really turned on.

“Fuck, Harry,” he started kissing him again with fervor, throwing his arms around Harry’s neck, startling a noise out of him, “fuck, I’m gonna make you feel so good, you don’t know how happy this makes me.”

Harry didn’t know what to say so he just bit Louis’ bottom lip a bit, but abruptly stopped when he felt Louis’ hand wrap around him. He felt his heart race and fuck, it felt so much better than his own hand. Louis started off slow, lazy, and picked up speed, making Harry’s head spin a bit. Louis pulled away from kissing and started to kiss down Harry’s stomach, taking time to kiss every tattoo, every nipple, making Harry squirm in his turned on state. His nipples were really sensitive, and it seemed as Louis enjoyed the little keening noises Harry made as he sucked on them.

He continued lower, kissing the little bit of hair under Harry’s naval, closer and closer to Harry’s cock. He was teasing Harry on purpose, maneuvering around the one spot Harry wanted his mouth on the most. He finally hovered above Harry’s cock, the anticipation and the feeling of Louis’ breath almost making Harry cum right then and there like a horny thirteen year old. “God Harry, you’re so _big_ ,” he breathed. 

Before Harry could respond, Louis finally sucked the head into his mouth, just the tip, making Harry bite his lip really hard. Fuck, it felt good. He’d had blow jobs before, but they were from inexperienced girls, fumbling and unsure of what to do, and they were, yanno, girls. Not half as gorgeous as the sight of Louis’ perfect pink lips wrapped around his cock. Louis looked up at him, his pupils blown wide from desire, and he finally sucked the whole thing in his mouth. Harry couldn’t help but curse, throwing his head back a bit as Louis found a rhythm, slow at first to ease Harry into it. Where his mouth didn’t fit, he put his hand, pumping Harry into his mouth. He licked down the sensitive vein on the underside of his cock, and Harry sucked in a shaky breath, trying not to cry out again, especially as Louis proceeded to swirl his tongue against the tip.

Louis looked back up at Harry, his eyes smug as Harry cursed again. It was really a beautiful sight. How could he have ever thought he was straight at one point? He loved the feeling of Louis’ stubble against his waist, the sight of a muscular hand around his cock, a firm one that gripped him just right. He couldn’t help but run his fingers through Louis’ hair and hold on as Louis sucked, his mouth hollowing out around Harry. 

Louis took his hand away for a moment, which confused Harry, but before he could ask, Louis was pushing the rest of Harry down his throat, so much that Louis’ nose touched his waist. It took him by such surprise and he’d never been deep throated before, and the fact it was hands down the hottest thing he’d ever seen, he couldn’t bear it and came without even a warning. Louis took it though, swallowing Harry’s cum, pulling off of Harry with a pop. With his thumb, he swiped up the bits that didn’t make it into his mouth and sucked on it, taking his time to suck on it hard and lick the remains. He did this while staring at Harry all the while, making Harry feel weak in the knees. It wasn’t good for him, especially after the mind-blowing orgasm. He was pretty sure he saw stars and he was still dizzy and high off of Louis.

Harry plopped down on the makeshift bed, exhausted, and Louis lay down next to him. The two just stared at each other for a bit, both with content smiles on their faces. It was then that Harry realized Louis was still in his sweatpants, which was completely unfair. He suddenly felt self-conscious, being completely naked when Louis wasn’t. It helped a lot though that Louis was looking at him like the sun. He did want to make Louis feel good though, wanted to see him fall apart at the seams because of him. Not that Harry had any experience with guys, but he was really determined. He felt comfortable with Louis, so much that he knew if he messed up that Louis wouldn’t judge him. He just wanted to _try._

“Hey Lou?” Harry breathed, still a little winded.

“Yeah Harry?”

“Can I suck you off? I know I’ll be rubbish but I really want to make you feel good,” he mumbled out fast, before he lost his nerve.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Louis told him, although he looked conflicted, his eyes flicking to the plump of Harry’s lips.

“I want to, yeah,” Harry nodded jerkily, pushing Louis on his back a little too eagerly. Louis didn’t seem to mind though, especially when Harry was yanking off his black sweatpants. Louis was already straining against his tight boxers, so Harry yanked those down too. He was pleasantly surprised to find Louis was on the bigger side, since Lou was on the smaller side himself, and he almost felt himself getting hard again at the sight of Louis naked and pliant in front of him.

Harry wasted no time, no teasing, and just went down on Louis with no hesitation, so he wouldn’t lose his nerve. He copied Louis and put his large hand on the base where his mouth couldn’t reach and started up on a steady rhythm. Louis started to curse as he carded his hand through Harry’s curls, seeming like he was trying his hardest not to pull on the hair. Harry did have to pull off for a minute to catch his breath, impressed that Louis could bob for so long without pulling up for air when it was his turn. He took a deep breath and sucked down again, trying to go as deep as he could. He went a little too far, gagging a bit and had to pull off a bit again, his eyes tearing.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his throat scratchy.

“Don’t apologize babe, you’re doing fine,” Louis replied, breathing heavy, giving a little smile, "you can stop if you want." Harry shook his head at that and felt determined as he sucked Louis into his mouth again, pumping faster and taking more, not caring that his throat was burning. The string of profanities that piled out of Louis mouth was worth it and Harry looked up to capture this moment in his memory. Louis was biting his lip so hard it was white and his hair was messy from how he kept running his fingers through it. 

The two made eye contact and seeing Harry looking up at him with his piercing green eyes and his lips around his cock pushed Louis over the edge, cursing as he spilled into Harry’s mouth. It was unexpected, so Harry didn’t catch all of the cum as some leaked down his chin onto Louis’ stomach. Harry then ducked his head and licked the rest of it off of Louis’ abs, making the boys’ stomach concave as he sucked in a shaky breath.

“Fuck Harry,” Louis breathed, “are you sure you’ve never done that before?” 

Harry nodded, not wanting to speak as his jaw was a little sore, but he shimmied his way back to lie down next to Louis. Louis turned towards him and kissed him sweetly on the lips, closed mouth, and proceeded to lay his head on Harry’s partially sweaty chest. Harry then grabbed a blanket to cover their naked bodies and then wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist as Louis decided to lay one of his hands on Harry’s chest next to his head.

“We just gave each other blow jobs on a Disney princess sleeping bag,” Harry giggled, Louis’ head jostling with the movement of Harry’s stomach. 

“I just gave you the best blow job of your life and that’s what you’re thinking about?” Louis sniffed, offended.

“Lou, it was on your _little sister’s_ sleeping bag. We’re going to hell,” Harry replied, but the situation was pretty funny. He just hoped there weren’t any cum stains on it. He started giggling again and Louis joined in.

“You’re such a little dork. No, scratch that. You’re a huge, giraffe of a dork,” Louis said, flicking Harrys nipple, making him yelp.

“ _You’re_ a dork,” Harry said, the only comeback to come to his mind, as childish as it was.

Louis just rolled his eyes fondly. “Alright, well I’m going to bed, I’m proper knackered.”

“Sweet dreams, Lou,” Harry mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis’ head.

“Night Harry,” he replied, sighing contently. It felt like there was something missing, a phrase that needed to be said but both were too scared to voice it in the quiet of the night and in the newness of their relationship, but they both ignored it. Harry pushed it to the back of his mind, falling asleep with a small smile and to the soft sounds of the beautiful boy lying next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :-)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a bit, I've been busy but here's the next chapter x

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.”

Harry blinked open his eyes to be woken up to bright sunlight. He sat up, shielding his eyes with his arm and peeked over it to be greeted with a disbelieving Liam, hands folded over his chest in front of the open door of the trunk. It was then that Harry remembered everything that happened the night before and looked down, realizing he was only clothed in the blanket that was covering his lap, his chest bare aside from a few necklaces. He blushed all the way up his neck to the roots of his hair, especially as the others came over to the trunk to see the commotion. 

Niall just started cackling as Harry shrunk and pulled the covers back over his head in mortification. 

“We can’t say we’re not surprised. Their sexual tension was palpable,” Harry heard Zayn say, making Perrie giggle.

“What are you guys yapping about?” Louis grumbled, sitting up, “yes, Harry and I blew each other’s brains out last night. Now let me sleep next to this hot piece of arse before I personally beat the shit out of all of you.”

“Touchy,” Jade whistled as Louis flipped them off and pulled the covers over his head as well, as the others all laughed. 

Louis snuggled up to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hey babe, don’t be embarrassed, they won’t take the piss out of us anymore. Well, not too much,” he whispered to Harry, who was still blushing. Thankfully, they heard the sound of the trunk shutting as the other’s left them to their own devices. 

“’M not embarrassed,” Harry mumbled, but his face told otherwise.

“Come on, don’t let them ruin this,” Louis smiled, kissing both of Harry’s cheeks until he giggled, dimple out. “Much better.”

Harry closed his eyes again for a bit to savor the moment, the soft sheets around him, Louis’ breath and heart beat in time with his own, the warm beam of sunlight through the window. He felt totally blissful. And the scary part was that he could really picture him doing this every day. Call him a romantic, maybe even a dramatic, especially only being eighteen, but Harry knew his heart well. And this was the hardest he’d ever fallen for anyone.

His blissfulness was interrupted when he bolted upright, remembering the thing he wasn’t supposed to forget last night, but he did. “Shit, shit, shit, shit,” he muttered, throwing the sheets back and slipping on sweatpants without his boxers. 

Louis groaned. “Nooooo, come baaack,” he whined, but Harry leaped into the front seat, praying that they still had gas. The line was hovering right above the “E,” the closest to empty he’s ever seen, but luckily, leaving the heat on all night didn’t completely ruin them. Thankfully, Niall had a car with 6 cylinders that held a crap load of gas. Harry hurriedly turned the car off, breathing a sigh of relief.

“What?” Louis asked, still too lazy to come over. 

“We left the freaking gas on,” Harry laughed incredulously, “but we’re good. I think we can make it till we reach a gas station.”

Louis shrugged. “You really can’t blame us. We were otherwise preoccupied for the night, so.”

Harry smirked and crawled back over to Louis, kissing him on the lips, but when he tried to deepen the kiss Louis pulled away. “Morning breath, love,” he smiled sheepishly, “plus, it’s starting to get cold in here really quick. We should put clothes on before our dicks freeze off.”

“For the last time your dick won’t freeze off,” Harry grinned, picking up his clothes and slipping them on, piece by piece. Louis started to do the same, to Harry’s disappointment, because if he was being quite honest, Louis’ little body looked even better in the daylight.

Just as he was slipping his (frozen) boots back on, there was a loud bang on the door that made Harry jump and Louis shake his head fondly at him. “Hurry up you shits, we wanna get on the road!” Niall’s voice came muffled through the door.

“And I’m pretty sure no one wants to see your little wee wees!” Jade called in, to which they heard Meghan giggle loudly at that. 

“Just so you know Jade, my wee wee is very large!” Louis called back, affronted, “I’m sure Harry can vouch for that!” Harry lightly slapped Louis on the arm for that to which Louis stuck out his tongue.

“Ew, stop it guys I don’t want to think about what those two did last night,” Perrie whined as Niall started cackling at the whole situation again. Fully clothed, Harry and Louis both opened the trunk to show they were decent and everyone could start piling in. To Harry’s immense delight, they already packed all the tents and other belongings up so the two didn’t have to.

“What are you laughing about?” Meghan pointed out to Niall, grinning, “they did it in _your_ van.” Niall abruptly stopped laughing at that and his eyes got wide as saucers, face paling. Everyone started to crack up as they hopped in the van, Niall still horrified and rooted to his spot. 

“Come on, come on,” Liam ushered Niall back into the car, trying to fight his grin as Niall stumbled in a daze back to the driver’s seat.

“Is it safe for him to drive? I don’t want to die because he was too busy picturing Harry and Lou doing it doggy style in the back of his van,” Zayn asked, wrinkling up his nose.

“You _did?!_ ” Niall shrieked, his voice going up an octave.

“No we _didn’t!_ Oh my goodness gracious Jesus almighty Lord,” Harry said, exasperated, face bright red.

“You wish we did, Niall, it would have been really hot,” Louis chimed in, smirking, holding his fist out to Zayn who bumped it back and did a thumbs up with his other hand.

“Can we please get on the road before I’m sick?” Perrie added, but she did have a hint of a smile on her lips. Niall sighed, getting his bearings, rubbing his hands together before turning the car on. Liam glanced at the fuel gauge and his eyes widened.

“Why is there barely any gas left?!” he exclaimed. Harry guiltily looked at Louis who held up one finger to his lips to get him to not spill.

“Probably was like that before,” Louis shrugged.

“I think there’s a gas station up the road, we don’t have to worry,” Jade added, sending a wink over to Harry, which showed she knew why there was no gas. Liam grumbled but didn’t say anything as Niall started to pull out of their makeshift campsite, heading back towards their homes. 

The car ride wasn’t as rowdy as it was on the way there because everyone was still very tired, especially due to the fact they were leaving at what Louis deemed at “arse o’clock in the morning.” The sun was barely up, low in the sky and just peeking out throw the bare branches of the trees as they blurred by. Harry felt sleepy as his eyelids drooped and he leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder, who was placed on his lap again like on the way there.

“Is Harry a little sleepy?” Louis asked, a soft smile on his face. Harry just nodded and nuzzled his face deeper into Louis’ shoulder. They heard Zayn make a gagging noise but they both ignored it. 

Through Louis’ hair, Harry noticed Meghan looking uncertain and looking out the window, biting her lip. Harry had missed the conversation about her coming home with them, because well, obvious reasons (snuggling with Louis), but he was curious to where she was going to stay. It was obvious she wasn’t close with her family, and they were heading in the opposite direction of her house anyway, so Harry deducted that staying with her family wasn’t part of the plan.

“Hey Lou, where’s Meghan staying? Like doesn’t her family live the other way?” he decided to ask Louis in a whisper, even though he was sure that Louis didn’t know either. 

“She’s staying with me,” Jade piped up before Louis could, making the two jump because they didn’t know their conversation was in hearing vicinity of the others.

Meghan started to play with her hair. “Jade…. Are you sure? Like I’m a whole ‘nother person…” she asked meekly, not making eye contact. It was obvious she didn’t’ want to be an imposition.

“Oh my god for the last time Meghan, I _want_ you to stay with me,” Jade rolled her big brown eyes.

“If you insist,” Meghan shrugged, but she still looked uncertain. Jade leaned over and put her hand gently on Meghan’s arm, giving her a soft smile, to which Meghan’s mouth slowly quirked up as well. After that, Liam turned the radio up a bit louder, some quiet, lovely tune that had everyone lapse into silence, in their own little world. Louis started to card his fingers through Harry’s hair and next thing he knew he fell asleep.

When Harry woke, it was to Louis gently shaking him awake. He was startled to see they were in front of Louis’ house already, and that Jade and Meghan were already dropped off. He felt a little better about falling asleep because he noticed Perrie did too, her blonde hair falling into her face as her head lulled on Zayn’s shoulder.

“Come on sleepy,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand and pulling him out of the van. Harry blindly stumbled after him, his hand tingling as Louis didn’t let go, even when he picked up their bags to take in the house. They both waved to the rest of them, thanked Niall for driving, and started to hobble up the driveway towards the door. Louis knocked loudly on the door, and for his sake, he hoped that it was a lot later than when they left because he would have woken up the whole house with that loud knock.

Jay opened the door a minute later, thankfully not still in her pajamas, but actually showered and dressed. Her hair was still a little damp, leaving a few wet drops on the light blue of her blouse. She smiled widely when she saw the boys on the other side of the door.

“Hi boys! How was your trip?” she asked, ushering them inside, “oh my goodness, you must be freezing!”

Harry was about to dismiss her worries, even though yes, he was a little chilly, but Louis cut him off. “Yes, I am freezing! Harry and I are gonna unpack and then take a shower. I mean like, both of us take one. Separately,” Louis explained a little awkwardly. Jay just raised her eyebrow but didn’t comment.

“Okay, well we’re having an early dinner so it’ll be ready soon, so when you’re done washing up come downstairs,” she said, heading back into the kitchen.

“You are not smooth, like, at all,” Harry said to Louis who just shrugged, grinning, and then proceeded to take the stairs two at a time, expecting Harry to follow. Which, he did, obviously, because he’d follow Louis anywhere. Plus, a shower did seem nice. One with Louis would be better, but Harry wasn’t about to do that with Jay and the girls home.

“You can go first,” Louis offered, opening the white linen closet, pulling out two fluffy pink towels and handing one to Harry, “I’ll be downstairs. Do you know how to work the shower?”

“I’m sure I can figure it out,” Harry nodded, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He was about to lock it, but then he recalled a horrifying moment when he was younger and got stuck in the bathroom for a few hours because he locked the door and a spider crawled on the doorknob and wouldn’t move. He placed the towel on the toilet and pulled away the flowered curtains to turn on the water. This bathroom was one of the girliest ones he’s ever been in, but he didn’t mind. He thought the pink and white striped walls and fuzzy pink carpets actually added a nice touch to it. He turned the nozzles, and while he waited for the shower to warm up, he pulled off his clothes and kicked them under the counter so they didn’t get wet. 

Once the water was warm, he climbed in, leaning his head back into the spray to soak his hair. He scanned the shampoos, wondering which shampoo would make him lose his man card the least. Strawberry kiwi, soft lavender, or mixed marigolds? He then spotted an almost empty bottle of apple and grabbed that one, deeming apples were manly. Sort of.

As he started to lather it through his hair, he could have sworn that he heard the sound of the bathroom door open, but he dismissed it. Everyone obviously heard the shower, they wouldn’t just barge in. But then the shower curtains got ripped open and he let out a high pitched yelp and covered himself, not sure what else to do. It was Louis, to his relief, who put one finger to his lips to tell Harry to be quiet. He was wearing his pink towel around his waist, but he dropped it so it pooled around his feet and quickly slipped into the shower.

“What are you doi-“ Harry started, but Louis cut him off by kissing him hard on the lips. Harry made a surprised noise into Louis’ mouth, but he started to kiss back with just as much fervor.

“Louis, what about your mum?” he asked in between kisses.

“Just be quiet,” he told him, starting to massage his hands into Harry’s soapy scalp. “Wash this out,” Louis ordered, “you’re gonna have to wash it again anyway when I’m done with you.”

Harry’s eyes widened at that, the words going straight to his groin, and wow, it was unfair, Louis wasn’t allowed to casually just _say_ things like that. It wasn’t good for his health. He obeyed, though, and pushed his head into the water spray again, trying to wash his hair as quickly as he could. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Louis take the soap bar and lather it onto his hands, large bubbles forming on them. Before Harry could ask, Louis was kissing him again and took hold of his cock, the soap making the friction non-existent as he pumped his hand up and down. _God_ , it felt good. Harry bit his lip and held onto the shower wall so his legs wouldn’t give out from being so weak. 

“Come on Harry, come for me,” Louis whispered, “I want you to come while trying not to scream my name because I’m making you feel good.” Harry’s breath was starting to get labored as the water stream was constant on his back, his hair dripping into his face. Louis pushed his slick hair back and kissed him deeper, increasing his pace on Harry’s dick.

Harry was embarrassed he was about to come just from Louis’ hand, but the setting was so hot, especially how the water was gleaming off of Louis’ chest and Harry had always had fantasies about having shower sex. He couldn’t help it though, as Louis rubbed the tip of his thumb over the head, he came all over Louis’ hand, mixing cum with the soap.

“That’s embarrassing,” Harry panted.

“No, no, no, it’s so hot I make you feel like that, god damn it you look so good when you come,” Louis replied, latching his mouth onto Harry’s neck. Harry whimpered, his legs almost giving out again, but he pushed Louis away, his mouth coming off with a pop.

“Your turn,” is all Harry said, dropping to his knees on the shower tiles. Louis groaned and muttered how Harry was going to be the death of him as Harry pushed him up against the shower wall and slid Louis’ slick cock into his mouth. He made sure to be out of the way of the water so he could breathe and started to pump up and down as Louis keened, his back arching against the wall. Harry wanted to be better than last time, pumping with a faster rhythm, massaging Louis’ balls into his hand as he did. Louis made a surprised noise, but it seemed to be a weakness, as he started to breathe faster. He even brought Louis in deeper than last time, fighting against his gag reflex, even as his eyes watered. It’s not like Louis could tell anyway; his eyes were closed and his lip was turning white from biting it. Harry got an idea that he was sure would get Louis to finally come, and licked Louis’ balls into his mouth. Louis shouted at that, forgetting to be quiet as he lost his head.

“Harry, I’m gonna come,” he breathed, and Harry quickly pulled his head back so Louis could come on his face. It splattered all over his mouth that he opened a bit to catch some and his forehead, some getting in his dark wet hair. Louis’ eyes widened at the sight, especially as Harry wiped some off and suck on his cum-covered thumb, a move he got from Louis himself.

“Oh my god,” Louis squeaked, sliding down the shower wall. “I can’t believe you let me just come all over your face. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”  
Harry smirked and crawled over to Louis, straddling his lap and rubbing their sensitive cocks together. The friction made his cock start to fill up again, and to his delight, he felt Louis’ as well.

“Holy shit Harry,” Louis laughed, breathless, “you are ruthless. One time with me and you want it all the time, you little bugger.” Harry grinned and nipped at Louis’ bottom lip playfully as Louis ran his fingers through his hair. “So pretty,” Louis murmured, so quiet that Harry actually wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not.

“Lou?” Harry started, his words coming out quickly before he lost the nerve, “can you finger me?”

Louis gasped against his mouth and nodded frantically, “yeah, yeah, I can do that.”

“Never been fingered before…” Harry admitted, “I tried myself once, but I felt embarrassed.” Harry waited as that statement sunk in, as Louis was undoubtedly was picturing Harry fingering himself and he moaned loudly, kissing Harry deeper. 

“You’re not allowed to ever use your fingers again, you hear me? Only mine,” Louis ordered, kissing Harry’s fingertips gently. Harry nodded, feeling a little weak as Louis guided him to open up his legs wider. Louis fitted himself on his knees in between them, running his hands over Harry’s thighs, resulting in goose bumps raising alone them and a shiver to go up his body.

“Shit, my lube’s in my room, do you want me to go get it?” Louis cursed. Harry thought about how long that would take, and he really needed Louis now, and plus how weird would it be if he ran into someone? 

He shook his head. “If it hurts too much, I’ll tell you to stop.” 

Louis looked a little worried, a crease appearing between his brows. “Promise you’ll speak up?” 

“Promise.”

With that, Louis’ middle finger hovered above his whole, making Harry squirm a bit, but Louis held down his thighs, before slowly pushing it in. Harry gasped a bit at the feeling, which wasn’t _uncomfortable_ … but just… _overwhelming_. It kind of burned, but when Louis asked if he was okay ( _again_ ) he nodded, urging Louis to finally start moving. He started slowly, his finger sliding in and out, and Harry bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain because he didn’t want Louis to stop. After a few more thrusts, it started to actually feel good, to Harry’s surprise. He liked the feeling the solid weight of Louis’ finger inside him, and when he looked down and actually saw it happening, he felt dizzy with being turned on. 

“Faster,” he breathed, and Louis bit his lip, determined, as he started to push his finger in and out faster. The feeling went straight down all the way to Harry’s toes and his cock twitched with it. Louis started to kiss Harry’s neck, biting down a little too hard, making Harry hiss at the pain, but it felt good. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and it was the most alive he’d ever felt. 

“Can I try another finger?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded jerkily, not trusting his voice. Louis tried putting another in, but Harry yelped and he pulled back.

“Okay, let’s stick with one for now, yeah?” Harry suggested and Louis nodded, trying to keep a smile off his face. “Shut up,” Harry pouted, flicking his nose.

Then Louis did something that Harry was not prepared for. He stopped moving his finger in and out, keeping it inside of Harry, and started to move his finger inside of him, twisting it and curling it in the right spots that made Harry see spots in his vision it felt so good. He even moaned too loud and had to grab a washcloth to put in between his teeth so no one could hear him. His cock was starting to leak pre-cum all over his stomach, angry and red, but Louis ignored it, focusing on his finger. Harry’s breaths were very labored, his chest heaving, and as Louis did one curling thing, that was the last thing he felt before he came all over his stomach, biting down hard on the washcloth. Louis removed the washcloth and started to mop up Harry stomach and kissed him softly on his butterfly tattoo.

Harry laid his head against the white tiles of the shower, trying to collect himself, his heart pounding. Louis laid his head on Harry’s chest, not caring that the water was still running. It was then he realized Louis was still hard. His hand started to creep towards his cock as Louis sucked in a deep breath, but then there was a knock on the door.

“Harry? Are you alright, love?” Jay’s voice was on the other side, sounding concerned. Harry’s eyes widened at Louis who clamped his hand over his mouth, trying not to laugh. They had been in there for a disconcerting amount of time. 

“I’m fine!” he called back, but his voice sounded weak, and it even cracked at the end, which made Louis giggle harder. Harry blushed as there was a pause on the other side of the door.

“Uh, okay, well when you’re done we’re all downstairs! Do you know where Lou is by any chance? He’s not in his room,” she asked, but it seemed like she already knew the answer.

“No, I’ve just been in here,” he called back, his face blushing deeper.

“Okay, take your time!” Jay finished, the sound of her footsteps retreating.

Louis burst out into more giggles when they were sure she was gone and Harry groaned. “She so knows you’re in here, she definitely thinks I’m a tramp I’m defiling her house!”  
“Harry, Harry, Harry, babe, calm down, it’s fine, who cares if she knows? I’m old enough,” Louis shrugged.

“We just scared your poor mother; we’re going to hell,” Harry groaned again, “and look now you’re soft.” He glanced down and noticed, indeed, Louis’ dick wasn’t hard anymore. “I can fix that,” he said, already grabbing onto it but Louis pushed his hand away.

“It’s okay, babe, we should probably get out,” he suggested, “We’re all pruney anyway.”

Harry pouted. “But that’s not fair to you.”

“Next time,” Louis smiled, “now, hand me the shampoo so I can wash those curls of yours.” Harry sighed but obliged, handing Louis the apple shampoo he was using earlier. Louis poured a generous amount on his palm and started to lather it into his curls. Harry closed his eyes at the gentleness of his hands, how he handled Harry with a lot of care, careful not to get any into his eyes. 

“Rinse,” Louis ordered, guided his head under the faucet and placing his hand over Harry’s forehead so it didn’t drip into his eyes again. He carded his hands through the curls, careful to get all of the suds out, even around his ears. 

They took turns washing and conditioning each other’s hair and washing their bodies (Harry giggling every time Louis ran the loofa over his back, resulting in Louis pinching his nipples) and finally emerged from the shower, pruney but smelling like fresh soap and apples. Louis picked up his discarded pink towel off the floor and Harry extracted his from the hanger he placed it on before his shower. He couldn’t see what he looked like, since the mirrors were all fogged up, but he was sure he looked goofily happy with a grin as wide as the sun and eyes glowing. Louis looked beautiful (as always) as he wrapped the towel tightly around his waist. Harry enjoyed how tight it was on his bum, although nothing would ever compare to it with nothing on it. Louis’ bum really was made for museums and shrines. 

“We didn’t plan this out right,” Louis started, paused with his hand on the doorknob, “my room is all the way in the basement. We have to pass my mum and the girls to get to it.”

“Shit, um, why don’t you just stay up here for a bit, and come down, so it looks like you took your shower after me?” Harry suggested.

“Good idea,” Louis nodded, moving out of the way so that Harry could leave.

“I really wish I brought clothes up here, considering I’m only in a towel and you have a house full of women, but,” Harry shrugged as Louis laughed.

“They’ll enjoy it, trust me,” Louis commented, raking his eyes up and down Harry.

“Oi! My eyes are up here,” Harry joked as Louis rolled his eyes fondly. Harry gave him one last smile before he left the bathroom, the cold hitting him harshly as he shut the door behind him. “Shit it’s cold,” he muttered to himself as he made his way quickly down the stairs.

He luckily didn’t bump into anyone before he got to Louis’ room, which was another ten degrees colder in the basement. His teeth with chattering by time he got a pair of Louis’ sweatpants and a jumper out of his drawer. He really didn’t want to take his warm towel off but he sucked it up and cursed the whole time as he threw on the clothes, making sure to add a pair of fuzzy socks as well, littered with blue polk-a-dots.

Louis came down shortly after, his hair already drying, and got changed (before ordering Harry to turn around, which he obliged with an eye roll). They headed upstairs, and after a nice family dinner filled with funny stories about the camping trip (blow jobs aside), they both found themselves watching crappy reality TV (crappy to Harry, not to Louis who deemed the Kardashians “comedic gold” and that Harry needed to “expand his horizons”) but Harry really didn’t mind as Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist and giggled a lot into his neck. The rest of Louis’ family mysteriously seemed to have other places to be, as they didn’t bother the two the whole night, even Daisy and Phoebe. 

Around midnight, he felt himself get sleepy, eyes drooping, so he was about to suggest to Louis that they go to bed, when he noticed that Louis was already sound asleep, his head nuzzled into Harry’s neck. Resisting the urge to coo at the cuteness (maybe he did squeak, but no one had to know) he gently nudged Louis off, who only stirred in his sleep with a soft sigh. 

He really didn’t want to wake Louis up when he looked so peaceful, his lips slightly parted and a lock of hair in his eyes, so Harry decided to just pick the boy up, bridal style, and carry him downstairs. It was a bit of a struggle, trying not to wake him up and an almost incident where he may or may not have almost slammed his head into the door frame, but he made it to Louis’ bed without a scratch or much of a stir. This time, he didn’t even think twice before turning off the light and climbing into bed with him, smiling as he held Louis tight before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was some shower sex to make up for the lack of updating :) I might have to pick up the pace with it soon because I'm going on vacation for two weeks and I don't want to make you guys wait that long so hopefully I can get the whole thing up relatively soon!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again so sorry this took so long the next one might take a bit to get up depending on if I get time tomorrow! Thanks for being patient xx

The rest of the week passed in a flurry of him and Louis cuddling, watching movies, going out to dinner (were they dates? Harry didn’t know), soft kisses (occasionally more blow jobs when they could), and hanging out with the lads (even going out bowling once, to which Louis was good and Harry was shit and Niall guffawed at the two as always). It was probably the best week of Harry’s life, which, believe it or not, was not an exaggeration. 

It was finally New Year’s Eve, though, to which Harry was excited about because he hadn’t gone to a proper party in a while. He just hoped he didn’t embarrass himself; he was already clumsy without drinking, and plus, he was a pretty honest drunk. He wouldn’t be very happy if he ended up telling Louis how he wanted to spend every day with him and hey, maybe that he loves him? That would be really scary and Louis would run away and never talk to him again. 

And Harry did love Louis. He knew many would say that he didn’t, because they’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, but he knew he did. 

He had realized it one of the days when they were lying by the fireplace again, a blanket draped over them, talking and giggling about the stupidest things. It was a lapse in the conversation where Louis just took a sip of his tea with a content smile on his face, the firelight making his soft skin glow, and Harry just thought, 'wow I’m so in love with you.' It just hit him like a truck and he felt his heart swell for the boy lying next to him, a blinding smile taking over his face. It was a feeling he’d never felt, but not unpleasant; just warmth and happiness filling his heart. He really just loved Louis.

His nerves were on fire anyway, though. Because although he didn’t plan on telling Louis he was in love with him, tonight was going to be the night he was going to ask Louis what they were. He had to tonight, because he knew that after New Year’s, he definitely had to go home, because he had no excuse to stay with Louis after the holidays. He was going to ask and follow it up with telling him how much he liked Louis, and how much he enjoyed his company, and how he didn’t want to stop seeing him after the holidays ended.

It scared him to no end, because Harry had never felt this way about anyone, let alone told them his feelings, and while he was sure Louis felt _something_ for him, it was terrifying. He was planning on getting a little bit of a buzz beforehand to ease his nerves, and did he mention that he didn’t even have a clue what he was going to say? He was going to go in and say what was on his mind, hoping it portrayed what he really thought.

And if all went well, he did maybe have an interest in having sex with Louis, like _proper_ sex. Not tonight, because call Harry a romantic, but he wanted it to be perfect, and his idea of perfect was not when they were both drunk. He wanted it to be in a comfortable bed, both of them only drunk off of each other, maybe after a romantic date on the town, and some rose petals scattered all over the floor and the mattress. Okay, so Harry was a bit dramatic, but he did want it to be perfect with Louis, because that’s what Louis deserved. He didn’t want to have sex in one of Niall’s spare bedrooms, which is where he and Louis were taking refuge in tonight. 

The group started to make the New Year’s plans on one of their group hangouts full of pizza and video games, that on the holiday they were all sleeping over Niall’s. Everyone but Perrie and Zayn, who had their own plans to sleep back at Perrie’s that night, which Harry really didn’t need the details of the rest of their plans once they got there. 

Apparently Niall’s house was pretty big, so he had a spare bedroom, as well as his brother Greg’s old room, and his parent’s room for them all to sleep in, which was cool so that they didn’t have to break out the sleeping bags like grade school and sleep on the hard floor. Louis already claimed sleeping in the same room as Harry (no, Harry’s heart didn’t burst out of his chest), and they agreed they would sleep in the guest bedroom, which had only one bed for them to share. Liam was taking Greg’s room, Niall was sleeping in his own bedroom, and Jade and Meghan claimed Niall’s parent’s room. Harry just hoped that no guest at the party drunkenly had sex/passed out/vomited in any of these rooms throughout the night, especially his and Louis’. 

“Should I wear the blue t-shirt, or the red?” Louis asked him, jarring him out of his thoughts. He held the two identical shirts up, bar the color, looking exasperated and stressed, and Harry wanted to kiss the crease between his eyebrows away. 

“Blue,” Harry answered immediately, as they always brought out the blue in his eyes. Louis nodded and threw the shirt on, which Harry took the momentary lack of vision to check out Louis’ bum in his tight black pants. It really wasn’t fair how good it looked and Harry wanted to whisk him away and have his way with him. 

“Good?” Louis asked, fixing his fringe a bit.

“Good,” Harry nodded, “what about me?” He himself was wearing a plain black shirt that he borrowed from Liam who was more his size (he did have to roll up the sleeves because they were a little big, not that he minded, since it showed off his biceps and ship tattoo) and the tight, _tight_ dark jeans he wore here, since he wanted to look good and Louis’ short trousers didn’t flatter him. His hair was styled upwards a bit with gel, in his own little quiff.

Louis raked him up at down with his eyes. “I don’t like it. Take everything off and go naked,” he ordered.

“I mean, if you _insist,_ ” Harry grinned, but then a knock on the door interrupted them. 

“You knobs, hurry up, Niall ordered we come early to help him set up!” Zayn’s voice was on the other side, undoubtedly let in by Jay.

“We’re coming, we’re coming,” Louis called back, fixing his hair one more time before hauling Harry out the door with him.

“Is it just us three driving together, then?” Harry asked, not sure what the exact plans were for the evening.

“No, you guys are my first stop,” Zayn explained as they descended the stairs, but then paused, “well, second, actually. Liam’s in the car. We’re gonna go get Jade and Meghan now.” Harry nodded. So Meghan was seamlessly put into their friend group, just like he was. It kind of made him warmer to her, because he knew he wasn’t a total outsider with her on board. Not that this group made him feel like one, but it was still nice to have someone who wasn’t in on all of the inside jokes and memories.

They headed out of the door, and for some reason Harry was expecting the white van, but then remembered that it was Niall’s. Instead, he was met with a black pickup truck, thankfully, with normal sized wheels, with a sleek paint job that was so shiny he was pretty sure he could see his full reflection.

“This is Liam’s truck before you ask,” Zayn said, interrupting Harry’s examination of the vehicle. Which, yeah, made more sense, because he really didn’t see Zayn as the pickup truck kind of guy. “It’s brand new and Liam’s still terrified to drive it, which makes me in charge of the bloody thing tonight.”

“Why didn’t you just take your car?” Harry asked as they walked up to it.

“Because Perrie’s meeting us at the party later, since she had a New Year’s Eve dinner with her grandma,” Zayn had a sickeningly fond expression on his face, “and anyway, I’m driving her home in her car so you guys can have this truck tomorrow morning.”

“Perfect!” Louis nodded before pulling open the back door of the truck. He paused because he realized the truck was a little higher up than he was used to, so with a jump, he unceremoniously clambered into the vehicle with a little push from Harry, who was trying not to laugh. “Fuck off,” Louis’ muttered, which made a few of the giggles spill out of Harry’s mouth as he climbed into the truck with no effort.

“Hey lads, you excited for tonight?” Liam asked as they hopped into the car, a bright smile on his face. The car smelled suspiciously of Liam’s cologne, which he was sure was put on excessively for the night ahead. 

“I sure as hell am. Niall knows how to throw a good party, that’s for sure. Remember Zayn’s surprise birthday bash last year?” Louis grinned as a blush rose up Zayn’s cheeks.

“Yeah, that was a fun party and all, but I don’t fancy everyone remembering me making a twat out of myself,” Zayn grumbled as he put his turn signal on and turned into a quaint neighborhood. 

Louis leaned in and put his lips near Harry’s ear and whispered, giggling, “Zayn got up on the coffee table and started singing Pretty Girl Rock at the top of his lungs wearing only a tie and pants. He almost fell at the end too.” Harry made the mental picture in his brain, usually so calm and put together Zayn looking sweaty and plastered, gyrating his hips to the cheesy pop song and he broke out into giggles as well.

“Hey, quit it you two!” Zayn exclaimed, and Liam snorted loudly, to which Zayn leaned over and squeezed his nipple. It was impressive, as the car didn’t even swerve as he kept his eyes on the road in this swift motion as Liam squawked and swatted his hand away. 

They finally pulled up outside of a small brick house that looked very cozy, even complete with white puffy smoke billowing out of the chimney. There were no cars parked in the driveway, so Zayn pulled all the way up to the door. 

“Did anyone text them?” He asked after a beat, the engine thrumming in the background.

Liam frowned, checking his phone again. “I did as we were pulling onto the street, but still no reply.”

“Someone should just go in,” Louis suggested, “if they won’t answer the phone, I don’t know how else to get a hold of them.”

“Okay, well I don’t feel like it, Louis you do it,” Zayn said, leaning back into his seat.

“What!? No! I don’t feel like getting up! You do it!” Louis protested. Harry was sure it was because he didn’t want to struggle to get back into the truck, which had him fighting to keep a smile off of his face.

“Don’t look at me,” Liam shrugged, crossing his arms.

“Okay, nose goes!” Louis exclaimed, quickly bringing his pointer finger to his nose. Zayn and Liam’s eyes widened before they did the same, and Harry was, as always, too slow to react.

“Heeeey, you guys are too fast for me,” Harry pouted.

Liam laughed. “Rules are rules. Last person to touch their nose has to do the task.”

“I guess it’s my turn to get the girls,” Harry concluded, unbuckling his seatbelt with a click as the other three nodded. Louis grinned at him and Harry stuck his tongue out at him, almost completely face-planting out of the car. He stumbled a bit as the others laughed, and just flipped them off as he headed to the door.

He knocked once on the oak door, a little hesitant, and clasped his hands behind his back to wait. When no one came, he knocked again, a bit louder, and started to rock back and forth on his heels. He glanced back at the truck, and raised his hands, signaling no one was answering. Liam mimed opening the door and walking in. Harry turned back around, deliberating. He felt weird just walking into someone’s house he still didn’t know that well, but he didn’t know what else to do. With a twist to the doorknob, he poked his head in the house, calling out a feeble hello.

No answer. The only light on was the hallway light, so Harry followed it, hoping one of them were just getting changed and didn’t hear him. It would be a bit awkward if he walked in on one of them getting changed, but at least he was gay, so they couldn’t be too upset, could they? He saw the only door that had light in was cracked, so Harry knocked with his knuckle once before walking in.

He definitely saw something he was in no way shape or form expecting to see.

He found Meghan and Jade all right, as the two of them were on the bed. Meghan was straddling Jade’s waist as Jade lay on her back, Meghan with only a lacey white bra and unzipped jean on, Jade already bare-chested with some of her royal blue underwear poking out of her pants, both of their lips attached and hands roaming.

Harry couldn’t help it, he accidentally gasped, and the two ripped apart, Jade frantically pulling her covers up and Meghan scrambling for her top. Harry clapped a huge hand over his eyes, apologizing profusely over and over, as he turned around and ran right into the door frame, making a huge raucous. “Dear god, I’m so sorry,” he said again, hands still over his eyes, feeling dizzy as he tried to maneuver the house he didn’t know and ignore the pain shooting up his shin from the door.

“Harry, wait!” he heard Jade call after him as he started to feel along the walls, trying to walk down the hallway, still not trusting to uncover his eyes. 

“I’m sorry!” is all he called back, voice squeaking, and he felt his whole face was on fire. God, he was such a dick, why did he just walk in?! Why didn’t he knock again?! And wasn’t Jade straight?! He didn’t even dwell on the last part for now, as he mentally kicked himself for being an intrusive idiot, completely ruining the moment. He replayed the moment over in his head again and stifled a groan.

He heard hurrying footsteps, then laughter and a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around, hesitantly pulling his fingers off of his eyes. He was met with a smiling Jade, her hair mussed a bit and her shirt buttons done up wrong. He could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra still, but he kept his eyes up. Not that it turned him on, but it was still polite.

“Harry, it’s really okay,” Jade smiled, “I mean, you could have _knocked_ ,” she teased, “but honestly. You didn’t like walk in on some secret love affair, nor were a creepy pervert watching us. It was an honest mistake. Plus, you’re gay, so seeing some hot lesbians making out is surprisingly not a turn on, yeah?” she grinned, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Lesbians?” he repeated faintly. 

Jade nodded. “We were actually gonna tell everyone tonight. We’re like, together,” she bit her lip, grinning, “the fact that I didn’t realize I was super gay a while ago is astounding, but man I really like tits.”

Harry laughed, feeling the embarrassment leave him and relief in its place. Jade didn’t hate him or think he was creepy. He didn’t ruin a secret, because the two were going to tell everyone anyway. Jade wasn’t upset or mortified. “I can’t really agree with you there,” he laughed, “but I’m glad you’re not upset. I should have knocked, really.”

Jade flailed her hand in a gesture it was no big deal. “So you saw my tits. Who cares?”

“I do, no one should be looking at my girlfriend’s tits,” Meghan came up behind her, joking, as she wrapped her arms around Jade’s waist from behind, her blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. Girlfriend? Already? He was jealous that the two could so easily talk about their feelings, and so soon. He was really hoping all went well with Louis tonight.

He really should have pieced it all together sooner, with the two of them. Jade being all tongue tied in the beginning, how they always stuck to each other’s sides and did everything together. The way Jade would look fondly at Meghan when she thought she wasn’t looking, or the way Meghan would laugh hard at Jade’s jokes, even if they weren’t funny. He was really happy for them.

Both were smiley so dopey and fond it was hard not to smile back. “We should get going, the lads are gonna start wondering what’s taking so long,” Harry suggested, hooking a thumb back towards the door.

“Er, can we get fixed up real quick first?” Jade asked, “I should probably wear a bra.”

“Probably,” Harry agreed, laughing, as the two ran back to the room to freshen up. They emerged ten minutes later, Jade in a pretty lacey black shirt and lighter jeans with black heels, hair in a sleek ponytail; Meghan in black stockings and a maroon velvet skirt with boots and a pretty white top, shorter hair let down in waves. Both of their makeup looked fresher, too.

“I’m impressed, I think that was quicker than I get ready,” Harry whistled, as Meghan did a little twirl and curtseyed. 

“It’s my specialty,” she joked, “getting ready in ten minutes after heated make out sessions.” Jade rolled her eyes but grabbed her hand, ushering her to the truck. Harry followed them out and shut the door behind him, his nerves settling back in. This night was sure going to be interesting.

He climbed back in after the girls, both of them greeting the others and apologizing for taking so long. 

“We have an announcement, though,” Jade exclaimed, loudly clearing her throat before Liam could turn the music back on. “I’m gay and Meghan and I are dating, just so you know.”

There’s a pause before the others congratulate them, Louis joking about how happy he was to have hot lesbians in the car, as Liam hit him on the back of the head and everyone laughed. Harry noticed the girls reaching to hold hands and he noticed that Louis’ eyes flickered over to Harry’s that were in his lap, but he acted like he didn’t. If only Louis would just take his hand, hesitance be damned.

They arrived to Niall’s to see him in a full blown panic. His blonde hair was disheveled and his already pink cheeks were even pinker as he opened the front door. “People will be here in a half hour and the stereo isn’t working holy ball sack,” he complained, “do I have enough alcohol?” They all filed in, taking in the decorations that seemed to be abandoned, some streamers half-heartedly strung and falling. There was a mountain of alcohol on the bar, from beers to whiskey to vodka. Aside from the streamers, the place looked nice and clean, a long table set up for beer pong and a disco ball in the corner. 

“You definitely have enough alcohol, mate,” Zayn laughed, clapping Niall on the back. He reached up and fixed the crooked “HAPPY 2014” glittered sign on the wall. “As for the stereo, did you, yanno, plug it in?”

Niall opened his mouth to protest, but then paused, grimacing. “Er, maybe not,” he admitted, crouching behind the stereo and holding up the unplugged cord. 

“I have no words,” Liam shook his head, “absolutely no words. I’m scared that we left you alone for so long.”

“Ah, piss off Payne,” Niall grumbled, finally plugging the thing in.

“What did you need us here for if everything is already set up?” Jade asked, plopping down on the couch.

“You’re the welcoming crew of course,” Niall grinned, “didn’t want to look like a loser in my house all by myself, and you guys are alright.” 

“Awwww, Niall loves us,” Harry cooed, pinching his cheek hard as Niall slapped it away.

Niall looked shocked, rubbing his cheek. “Ugh, Louis you corrupted him! This one used to be nice!”

Louis slung his arm around Harry’s shoulder, with a bit of an effort considering Harry was a whole head taller (and no, it wasn’t adorable that he was on his tip toes). “He learned from the best, I taught him well!”

“Arseholes!” Niall exclaimed dramatically, “that’s what you lot are! Nothing but arseholes!”

“Calm down Whoopi Goldberg,” Louis rolled his eyes, plopping down on the couch next to Jade. He patted the empty space next to him, beckoning for Harry to sit. He obeyed, definitely sitting closer than necessary, their thighs brushing. Harry could feel the electricity through the tight fabric of his jeans and wondered if Louis was feeling the same.

“Whoopi Goldberg? Now what on earth does she have to do with anything?!” Zayn exclaimed. Meghan was giggling into her hand quietly and Liam just looked exasperated again.

“She’s dramatic and so is Niall, so it fits,” Louis explained, grinning, “plus, they have the same hair; the resemblance is uncanny.” Which was the actual opposite.

“You’re just jealous of my luscious blonde locks, Tommo,” Niall countered, reaching over the bar and grabbing a beer, grinning back. 

Louis made fake gagging noises and mimed sticking his finger down his throat, making Niall throw a beer at him. He ducked at the last moment and it went flying into Harry’s chest, extracting a huge “oof!” from him. 

Everyone started laughing except for Louis, who looked concerned. “Are you okay? You’re not internally bleeding are you?” He asked, a worry between his brow.

“Yes mum I’m fine,” he said, but it didn’t come out biting the way he intended as he wheezed it out. Louis stuck his tongue out at him and nudged him lightly with his shoulder. Before he could say something back, the doorbell rang and Niall hopped up to get the door.

“Y’all just sit there and look pretty for me!” he called over his shoulder as he jogged over.

“So I’m deeming it’s drinking time, yeah?” Liam clapped his hands together, proceeding to rub them together with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“I second that,” Louis said, popping up just as the sound of chatter came down the hall from Niall’s new guests. Harry followed him over to the bar as Liam started to pour some vodka into different shot glasses. He ended up getting the one with a pair of boobs covered in a red and white polk-a-dot bikini top, the liquid sloshing around a bit as he tried to get the overfilled glass near his mouth.

“This is the closest I’m ever gonna get to tits, isn’t it?” Harry pondered aloud, staring at the double d’s on the glass, making everyone laugh.

“Gee, I hope so,” Louis grinned, “I don’t think I’d look good with boobs.” 

“Or would you call them jubblies?” Liam wondered.

“Mammaries?” Harry suggested.

“Chicken filets!” Niall’s distant voice called in, showing he could hear them, and everyone giggled and agreed that was the winner.

“If you guys don’t drink soon I’m going to steal all of the alcohol for myself,” Perrie pouted. Everyone nodded, getting back to the task at hand.

“Number one rule of drinking with us Harry and Meghan,” Zayn started, picking up his royal blue shot glass, “no chasers. We gotta be tough. Show no weakness.” He raised his dark eyebrows in mock seriousness. 

Harry looked nervously at his glass. He hated the taste of alcohol, as he was sure most people did, but no chasers? Jeez. He just hoped Louis was there to kiss the bad aftertaste away.

“Nervous, Curly?” Louis grinned, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Harry just snorted.

“Count of three,” Jade instructed, “Three… two… one!” 

Harry knocked back the drink, wincing as it slid down his throat and burned a bit. He could taste a little bit of strawberry in it, but it was mostly just the bitter taste of vodka. As he looked around, everyone else was wincing too, Meghan even visibly shaking her arms around in response to the strong taste.

“Ewwwww,” she groaned, her face scrunching, making Jade giggle and press a huge wet kiss to her cheek.

“Before we chicken out again, quick, another, another,” Liam ordered, hurriedly pouring more into the glasses. Harry took a deep breath to steel himself and picked up his glass again, the cool sides sticky to the touch.

“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, knocking his head back, downing the drink. He looked up to Liam grinning as he poured them all another shot. Harry braced himself, eying up the glass. _Just a few more shots to go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a bit of a filler chapter but the end to the endless fluff is coming in the next chapter and what you've all been waiting for: the angst! Thanks again for all of the lovely messages I love you all :) x


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST TIME

Two hours later and Harry was wasted.

He ended up in Niall’s kitchen, sitting on the counter, swinging his long legs back and forth, talking to a girl with wild curly hair. Laura? Laina? Leigh Anne? It didn’t matter; “talking” was more of a loose term. It was more like Harry was mumbling whatever weird thought came to his head, swaying a bit, as the girl laughed at him, pink cheeked and friendly. 

“Hey, my hands feel like they’re on fire. Tingling,” he said to the girl, “did you know your hair is curlier than mine?”

She giggled into her pink glass. “Yes I did, Harry.” He frowned. She should definitely get as drunk as him. It was fun. He wanted to touch the girl’s hair.

It was definitely Leigh Anne.

She showed him her belly button ring earlier. 

It was really sparkly.

Like Louis’ eyes.

Harry huffed, suddenly crossing his arms. Where _was_ Louis? He lost him a half hour ago when “his song” came on, which was a Britney Spears song? Maybe Nicki Minaj? Same thing. But Harry didn’t dance, because he would fall and embarrass himself and he really wanted to impress Louis. It wasn’t _fair_. Why wouldn’t Louis just ask to be his boyfriend?

“Leeeeeeeeigh Anne,” Harry slurred, hopping down from the counter and almost falling on his face. She reached out and put a steady hand on his waist, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

“Yes, Harry?” she asked pleasantly. 

“Do you know where Louis went?” he asked, frowning into his cup. Why was it empty? Maybe he could go get some more. Alcohol was good.

“No, I’m sorry babe,” she said sympathetically, “try the living room maybe?”

Harry nodded, a little too enthusiastically, liking the fuzziness in his head. “Bye thank you!” he called, stumbling into the living room. He counted his steps, trying to walk in a steady line; step, step, step.

Fourteen steps later and he was in the living room. It was really crowded, making him hotter than he already was, his curls matting to his forehead. He squinted, surveying the room. He really wished he knew more people here. 

He spotted a girl that looked familiar on the couch, looking a little out of her element, sipping from a red solo cup. 

Meghan!

He smiled and walked (stumbled) over to her, plopping down on the couch unceremoniously, jostling Meghan’s drink a bit. She looked like she was about to scold him until she realized who it was and visibly relaxed. She looked relieved. 

“Hey Harry,” she smiled, “you having fun?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I want to find Louis.” He really needed to stop talking about Louis. He was sure he was being boring. Meghan looked fond though.

“Ah, I see,” she said, “well, I have no idea where he is. First things first, they need to change this song,” she frowned as a Drake song started up. Something about bottoms. No. Starting from the bottom.

“This song doesn’t even make sense,” Harry snorted, placing his empty cup on the floor, “he didn’t start from the bottom. He started on that girl show. Delani. No… Degrassi. You can’t be gangster if you’re on Degrassi.”

Meghan giggled. “You can’t be gangster if you call yourself a gangster.”

Harry grinned. “I say we change the song. We should change it to good music. The Black Keys or Arctic Monkeys or something.” Maybe not the Arctic Monkeys. Those songs get him too horny and Louis was nowhere to be found. He hoped he didn’t say that out loud.

“No way, you like those bands? Thank god there are people out there that appreciate good music,” Meghan grinned back, “I say we do it. Everyone might leave, but hey, it’ll be worth it.”

Harry was about to respond when Jade plopped down on the other side of Meghan, slinging her arm around her shoulder. Meghan subconsciously nuzzled in closer and it was really cute. Cuddles were cute. And warm.

“Heeeeey Jade,” he slurred.

“Hi Harry,” she laughed. Why did everyone seem less drunk than he was? Well at least he wasn’t talking about Louis again.

“Where’s Louis?” he asked. Oops. 

“I don’t know. But honestly Harry, you two are so stinking obvious, can you guys just date already? It’s making everyone crazy,” Jade said, giving him a stern look.

Wha…? It was that obvious? “It’s obvious that I’m in love with him?” he asked, frowning.

Jade’s eyes widened. “Well, jesus, Harry I didn’t know you were in love with him! I just thought you liked him! Oh my god you have to tell him, what are you waiting for?” She clapped her hands, “I love… love!”

Meghan rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea right now. I mean, he is, you know, wasted.”

“Hush, you,” Jade pouted.

“Look, I think Louis just wants sex. I mean, we haven’t actually had sex yet. Just like, blow jobs and stuff. I… okay, too much information. But like. He’s never said he liked me more than that, except like in the beginning to his mum, but he’s never done anything about it. I think, like, he just, you know. Stopped liking me. Except for sex. Like friends with benefits or something,” Harry explained, feeling awkward pouring his heart out. He wished he had more alcohol.

Jade looked at him sympathetic. “Honestly Harry, I think you’re wrong. I think he doesn’t want to scare you off, like, I think he’s nervous because you guys barely know each other, and he feels so strongly about you. Like, he looks at you like you’re the world.”

Harry’s heart started to beat harder. “N-no, you’re wrong.”

“I’m right!” Jade insisted, “okay, maybe not tonight, but tomorrow, please tell him you love him, okay? I think you’ll be happy with the results.” Meghan nodded enthusiastically next to her.

“Okay,” Harry agreed, reluctantly, “I’m going to do it tonight though. I don’t have time to wait. I’m just gonna do it, alcohol be damned.”

Jade nodded understandingly. “Sounds good to me. And don’t worry, because please, you guys are meant for each other. And Louis is really fucking hot, like I would climb that like a tree,” Jade fanned herself dramatically.

Meghan elbowed her. “Shut up Jade, you’re really gay.”

Jade just shrugged, not denying it, grinning at Meghan, who went in for a kiss. It started to get a little more heated and Harry felt bad for intruding in on their moment. 

“I’ll, er, take that as my cue,” he said, but neither heard. Ooookay. 

He got up, with a little difficulty, and walked over to the staircase. Maybe Louis was upstairs. On his way, he nearly mowed over Niall who was carrying a tray of blue Jell-O shots, them shaking from the movement.

“Whoa there Harold, where’s the fire?” Niall grinned, unperturbed even though Harry almost ruined the shots. He couldn’t even process what Niall was saying before Niall was shoving a shot glass at him, shouting at him to take it and that “it’s the best of the piss you’ve been drinkin’ all night!” Niall was definitely drunk. Harry was drunk. He didn’t care and knocked it back, happy it tasted better than the vodka they had earlier. Was it vodka? He couldn’t even remember. For a good measure, he grabbed another off the tray as Niall whooped, and he knocked that one back too. If he was going to pour his heart out to Louis, he might as well be drunk so he didn’t sound clumsy like he normally did. Even though he already was. Hmm.

Finally making it to the stairs, grabbing both rails, he made his way up the stairs, thanking god that it was carpeted and not wooden. He and wooden staircases did not mix well, even when he was sober. Especially with socks.

He tried the first door he could find, only to find it locked. With a sigh, he moved on to the next one, which actually opened. It was the master bedroom, looking completely neat, and Harry guessed that no one had been in here yet or something would have definitely been destroyed by now. Louis wasn’t in it. Harry frowned, and felt it was hard to concentrate, especially as the room started spinning. Whooooa. The Jell-O shots definitely hit him. He sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands to stop the spinning. 

It was then he heard the ring of his phone, thankful that he still had the thing in his pocket and didn’t lose it in his drunken haze. He fumbled around his pocket a bit, extracting his phone from it and answering it without looking at the caller I.D.

“Hullo?” he mumbled into the phone. He closed his eyes, still feeling dizzy.

“Harry?” a voice came through the phone, one he really didn’t expect to hear. He sat upright, shocked, eyes popping open, and the movement made his stomach lurch. 

Clutching his stomach, he squeezed his eyes shut again. “Mum?” he whispered, not trusting his voice. It had been a week with no call from her and she was finally calling him back. A whole fucking week. He felt himself growing angry, all of the feelings he kept repressing over the years, deeming that he was overreacting. But he wasn’t overreacting. His own mother didn’t even pretend to act like she was thinking of him, no call. Nineteen years and she barely spent time with him, cared about him. He could remember one week he “rebelled” when he was twelve, locking himself in his room for a week, only grabbing food when he knew no one was home. His mother didn’t even notice until he came out and caved crying to her.

He could remember her forgetting his birthdays, leaving for days at a time, no note or calls. All he ever wanted was a mother who cared about him, really cared, and it wasn’t something he could have.

It was all bubbling to the surface now, hearing her hesitant voice on the other side of the phone.

“Harry? Where are you?” she asked. She sounded drunk. Of course she was drunk. It’s not like she could face him when she was sober.

He could barely answer through the red fog of anger he was in. He really wished he had a clear head, wasn’t so drunk. “I’m at a friend’s mum,” is all he replied. 

“Baby, I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be gone an extra week with Robin. I mean, I know you’ll be an uni, but I just wanted to let you know, because I know we had some plans to go out to dinner and stuff but we can always reschedule okay?” she explained to him. He felt the anger inside him, felt as if his skin was actually boiling. The room was still too hot and Harry was too hot and too drunk and he could barely see straight.

“Well, at least you let me know this time, right?” he bit out, sarcastically, forcing a bitter laugh.

“I’m sorry Harry, I just, I mean you don’t want to hang with your old mum anyway, right?” she tried, weakly, a surprised undertone. Harry never lashed out at his mum. He usually took it in silence.

“I actually would want to spend time with you, mum, but you wouldn’t know that, would you? You don’t care about anyone but yourself,” he growled, fingers clenching. He heard the door open, but he didn’t even look up to see who it was, willing for them to go away.

They didn’t, and he felt the bed dip under the weight of someone who started to rub circles on his back, knowing he was tense. He knew that touch anywhere and looked up; of course it was Louis, who looked concerned. He couldn’t even enjoy the touch, the anger rolling off of him.

“You don’t care that I have been waiting to hang out with my ‘old mum’ for nineteen fucking years, and you still just don’t get it! You only see what you want to see!” he continued, shrugging Louis’ hand off and standing up. He started to pace around the room, Louis looking on with a worried expression. 

“I… Harry…” his mum tried to counter, but Harry cut her off.

“No, I have nothing to say to you. I’m so happy that I’m old enough because once I go back to uni I am _never_ fucking coming back home. You’ll never have to deal with me as a burden again, okay? That’ll make you happy, won’t it?” Harry spit at her venomously.

“Of course not!” His mum at least had the decency to act like she cared. 

“No, I’m done. Please don’t call me again, _ever_ ,” he ordered, before, aggressively hanging up on her, not waiting for a response.

There was silence in the room, except for the heavy sounds of Harry’s breathing. He leaned the back of his head against the wall and slowly slid down, knees to his chest. He wished he was sober. He wished he wasn’t at this party; he just wanted to be in his bed and forget any of this ever happened.

“Harry,” Louis finally spoke up, his voice startling loud in the silence. Harry didn’t answer, just focused on pushing the betraying tears back, even as they slid down his face as he looked up at the ceiling.

“Harry, please, say something, I hate seeing you like this,” Louis tried again, his voice distressed. He came over to Harry and sat down next to him, putting his hand on his arm.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m happy my mother is a self-centered brat that only calls me when she’s lying to herself that she’s a good mother? Because I’m not, and it fucking _sucks_ ,” Harry’s voice cracked on that last word, struggling to get his voice under control.

“No, of course not, I know it hurts baby, but it’s okay, you’re such a good person, you really don’t need her in your life. You have so many other people who care about you,” Louis said, rubbing his thumb on his arm.

“Like who? _Gemma?_ ” he laughed bitterly again, “yeah, when she’s not fucking a new boyfriend every month or smoking up in her room not saying a single word to me. I’m sure she really cares about me.”

“I meant me,” Louis said quietly, “and like, okay, I know you only met them a few times, but my friends love you too. And so does my mum, god Harry, she does. Everyone loves you. Why can’t you see you don’t need your mother?” 

“I don’t care if I don’t need her Louis!” Harry shouted, throwing Louis’ arm off of him and getting up, “I want her Louis! I want a mother who actually cares about me! Is that too much to ask?” He knew he sounded like a whiny child but he couldn't stop the words from pouring out of his mouth. He was upset, god dammit. 

“No, no, no, Harry you deserve the world! I know it hurts, I know it does, but it’ll get better now that you’re not going to attempt to have her in your life,” Louis tried.

He knew Louis was trying to help, but he just felt so alone and hurt and angry, and he felt the irrational anger boiling up at Louis, sweet Louis who was only trying to help, but he couldn’t stop it. “No, you don’t fucking know how much it hurts Louis! You have the perfect fucking family, and a mother who would give her right arm to save you, who makes you tea in the morning, who checks up on you! She took me in with no question, a stranger, because she knew I was upset and trusted you! So don’t you fucking dare try to act like you know how I feel!” he screamed. He was surprised he could even say long sentences anymore with the way his tongue felt sluggish, but the angry words kept flowing.

“Harry, I’m sorry I just –“ Louis started, but Harry cut him off.

“Just stop okay?! I barely fucking know you Louis, you don’t know me or how I feel! All you do is fuck me okay? You’re just a good fuck who doesn’t care about me! And, and, I don’t fucking care about you either! So stop trying to act like… like my boyfriend! I can handle myself! Hell I have been for nineteen fucking years!” He exploded, the lies pouring out like venom, not being able to stop it. The room was spinning faster again, so much he could barely register the expression of raw hurt on Louis’ face.

“If… if that’s how you feel,” Louis said meekly, “I can take you home now, if you want.”

“No, I’m leaving, don’t go near me,” Harry decided. He needed air, he needed to be away from Louis and this house. He started near the door, but Louis blocked him.

“Harry, you can’t drive in the state you’re in,” Louis pleaded, arms covering the door.

“I’m fine to drive, let me _go_ ,” Harry insisted through tears and dizziness, blurring his vision. He felt nausea in his stomach and he couldn’t take it anymore. One more look at Louis and next thing he knew he was vomiting all over Louis’ feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY
> 
> It had to be done. Sorry it was a bit short too. I hoped you liked this one though because I think it's my favorite chapter!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter :(

Harry woke up in an unfamiliar room, head throbbing and a mouth that felt as if it was filled with cotton.

He rubbed his eyes, wondering what bloody time it was. He knew it was morning, based on the sunlight seeping in through the windows. But he was alone, and didn’t remember where he was or why. He saw a framed picture of Niall and what he assumed was Niall’s older brother, both looking happy and arms slung over each other’s shoulders. He had to admit it was a really cute picture. But why was he in Niall’s house?

Then he bolted upright, the memories of last night flooding back.

Niall’s party. The drunkenness. His mum calling. Freaking out on Louis. Vomiting on Louis’ _feet._

Harry groaned, throwing his face back into the fluffy white pillow, a horrible feeling in his gut that no, thankfully wasn’t more vomit. He lost his mum _and_ Louis on the same day. All because he couldn’t keep his fucking emotions in check. He did think he was better off without his mum, but not Louis. Oh _god_ , not Louis. He was in love with Louis and the bloke thought that Harry just wanted to fuck him, that this whole week meant nothing more to him than a fuck. 

How could he be so fucking stupid? 

Where was Louis anyway? He knew that the two of them were supposed to share the bed after the party… but of course Louis would be thoughtful and want to give him space. Louis probably didn’t want to ever see him again, but he really needed to set things straight. 

He rolled out of bed, thankfully still clothed, and almost fell over with how bad his head felt. He was happy that he emptied the contents of his stomach last night, or he was sure he would be vomiting. Alcohol was the enemy; he was definitely never drinking again. Or not drinking as much. Maybe he’d stick to wine coolers.

Holding his head, he made his way out of the room, squinting against the harsh lights on in the hallway. He stumbled a bit, trying the first door he found. He opened it to find Liam sleeping soundly, a pile of blankets on the floor and a pillow. His heart sank; he was sure this is where Louis sought refuge, sleeping on the hard floor. 

Louis was probably already downstairs, eating breakfast in the kitchen. It was going to be really awkward seeing him, but Harry knew he needed to set things straight. He was about to leave when he noticed a note left on Louis’ pillow, barely noticeable on the light blue of the fabric. With shaking hands, he picked it up and read:

_Dear Liam,_

_I’m writing this because you’re probably still asleep, so you’ll read this in the morning. I didn’t want to wake up anyone ‘cause it’s really early right now. And thanks for letting me crash here last night. Okay, well, I just wanted to tell you this and I want you to pass on this info to everyone that I left for uni this morning to go back. I just… needed to get out of this house and why not leave early right? Tell everyone I said goodbye and I’ll see them next time I come home. And can you tell Harry I’m sorry? He doesn’t ever have to see me again. Tell him I’m really sorry._

_Love, Lou_

Harry felt his stomach drop somewhere around his feet. Louis left for uni? Without saying goodbye? And _he_ was the one apologizing? When Harry was the one who crushed everything they had, because of one stupid phone call from his mother? He felt tears well in his eyes, trying to force them down again, but an embarrassing whimper came out of him.

Liam started to stir and blinked open his eyes. He didn’t seem to notice Harry at first as he stretched until he heard a crack and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Harry couldn’t even seem to make his feet move as he was rooted to the spot. 

The sleepy bloke finally noticed him, giving him a smile. “’Ey Harry,” he greeted. Then he noticed the tears streaking down Harry’s face and seemed to wake up immediately.

“Harry? What’s wrong?” Liam asked, throwing the comforter back and sitting up. 

Harry didn’t trust his voice, so he just thrust the note at Liam. Liam looked confused as he opened the creased paper and scanned it, his frown deepening with every second.

“What… what happened?” he asked, looking up with sympathetic eyes, “did you and Louis get in a fight? He never leaves back to uni this early. He always says goodbye.” He probably didn’t think he was doing it, but Liam was actually making Harry feel worse with every word coming out of his mouth.

Harry didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to explain the whole debacle, so he just sighed and hung his head. He had never hated himself more than he did right now. Poor Louis only wanted to help. God, he didn’t even know Harry was in love with him.

“Well,” Liam said, jarring him out of his thoughts, “what are you waiting for? Go get the bloke back!”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me? God, he definitely won’t want to see me,” Harry sighed, running his fingers through his hair. It was already a mess, so it didn’t really matter at this point. 

“Who the bloody hell cares? There’s no harm in talking to him,” Liam shrugged, “it’s obvious you care about him a lot. He just needs to hear it from you. I don’t know what you two fought about, but Louis is such a good guy. I’m sure he’ll hear you out.” 

Harry was about to argue, but paused. What was the harm in talking to him? Louis already thought Harry doesn’t like him, so there’s nothing much worse than that. It could be a huge romantic gesture, like all of the cheesy girl movies he loved so much. And if it worked, then he could call Louis, the beautiful boy he was in love with, his boyfriend. That in itself was enough for Harry to straighten his shoulders and give it a hell of a try. 

“You’re right,” Harry nodded, determined, “I’m going to tell Louis that I’m in love with him.”

Liam smiled, his eyes crinkling around the corners. “Good! Go get ‘em! Oh, and I almost forgot….” He reached over to the night stand and threw the keys to his truck at Harry, who had no coordination and almost didn’t catch them, almost poking out his eye.

“Thanks,” he breathed, not even foreseeing the ride issue that Liam just solved. He started shoving his feet back into his boots and gathered his discarded jacket off the floor. “Good. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Well, I... I’m gonna…” Harry gestured to the door, making Liam laugh.

“Don’t let me keep you. Tell Louis I said hi,” Liam grinned as he started to put his grey t-shirt from last night on. Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to do that, as it had a mysterious stain and he could smell the beer on it from where he stood, but he didn’t have time to dwell on Liam’s hygiene habits. 

He all but sprinted down the stairs and out the door, not bothering to tell the others where he was off to. He was sure that Liam would blab; the bloke loved a good gossip story. 

Opening the door, Harry basically threw himself into the front seat of the car. He wasn’t sure why he was in such a rush; Louis was just at uni, not going on some dramatic plane ride that left in an hour. It didn’t stop Harry from rushing, though, barely able to shove the keys into the ignition. He just felt so jittery and he just really wanted to tell Louis how he felt, to finally get it off of his chest. And if he didn’t see Louis smile again in the near future he wasn’t sure if he could function.

Once he finally got on the road, he really wished he could just turn his brain off for the car ride. His betraying brain could only think of the bad scenarios; what if Louis refused to see him? What if Louis didn’t feel the same way? Or, worse, what if Louis did feel the same way, but then changed his mind after Harry’s freak out? What if Louis didn’t want to be saddled with someone with baggage? All of the negative thoughts swirled around his mind, plaguing him, so much that he almost ran a red light. Slamming on the brakes, almost hitting his head on the steering wheel, he demanded himself to take a deep breath. 

“Jesus Christ Harry, get it together,” he muttered, closing his eyes for a moment, until he heard an annoyed honk blare from behind him, signaling the light had turned. 

He decided to put on some calming music, but most of the pop stations were playing the same annoying top ten hits over and over, and he really couldn’t deal with it. He wished he had Louis to sing the songs with him, maybe mock them and sing them high pitched and loudly out the window, like he did one of the days they decided to go for ice cream with the girls. He just decided to shut it off and take another deep breath, just count to ten over and over, hoping it would calm his nerves. 

He wasn’t sure if it was a relief when he finally made it to the university, as his nerves settled in deeper and more pronounced. This was it. He looked up at the sprawling university, having to pause a minute to take in the structure that he would be calling his home in a short year. The grayish brown building was huge, the reddish roof contrasting beautifully; it basically looked like a fairytale castle with a lot more windows. He loved the campus, although he was sure there would be more kids coming once the holidays officially ended. For now, the kids that were there were hurrying in their jackets across campus, bundled to their noses and their breaths fogging in the cold winter air.

Harry instantly loved it. And he was going to be able to go here next year, where he had Louis. Come to think of it, he remembered Louis mentioning the other boys attended here because it was where they all met, which made him excited. He didn’t have many close friends at home, and here he would already have a cool group of guys to call his friends where he really belonged. 

Except his fantasy wouldn’t happen if he didn’t sort things out with Louis. He wanted to explore more, but he had a task at hand. And although he loved the campus, he was a bit frustrated on how big it was, considering he had no idea where Louis’ dorm was located. He didn’t know whether or not to call Liam or just ask around and hope they knew where Louis was. 

Instead of wasting time, he just decided to call Liam, hoping the lad wasn’t getting annoyed with him for bothering him so much in the past hour. “Hey Li,” Harry greeted when Liam picked up.

“Hey, everything good?” he asked. Thankfully, he didn’t seem annoyed.

“Um, sorry to bother you, but, er, what dorm is Louis in? I have no bloody clue,” Harry said sheepishly.

Liam just laughed. “He’s in the west wing. Dorm room A209. And don’t worry about it. Please call me when everything is sorted out, I want to know what happens.”

“Or call much later if everything goes _very_ well, because we all know what you two will be up to!” he heard Niall pipe up in the background.

“Oi! Am I on speaker?” Harry demanded.

“Maybe,” Liam admitted, “now go! Stop wasting time!”

“We love you Harry, good luck!” was the last thing he heard from Jade before Liam hung up on him, making him get a move on.

He sighed, crossing his arms against the cold, and looked around to see where the west wing was. Was there a map anywhere? Before he had to try to find a map, he noticed a section that was labeled the west wing in white lettering above it. Perfect. Harry dragged his body over there, trying to get out of the harsh wind that was picking up.

He was about to open the door, but when he tried the knob, he realized it was locked. He sucked in a deep breath, worry settling in his gut. He tried again, but it really was locked. No, no, no, no. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. Of course, when he was _so_ close, the dorm building had to be locked. It made sense, and it was reassuring that the university had good security, but not at the moment.

He looked around frantically to see if there was a student that could let him borrow their key just to get in. But there was no one in sight, no one wanting to be out in the weather. 

“No,” he whispered, sliding down the wall next to the door, curling his knees to his chest. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. 

He sat there for a few minutes, contemplating his next move and wondering how this became his life, when he almost got killed by the door swinging open. He yelped and almost yelled at the guy for not looking where he was swinging the door, but his voice caught in his throat when the person who opened the door was actually Louis.

Louis’ eyes widened, almost comically. “Harry? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to t-talk,” he said. It was really embarrassing how his last words were a bit stuttered as his teeth started to chatter against his will. 

“Yeah, okay,” Louis agreed, softly, “we should get you inside first.” Harry nodded, not trusting his voice. It looked as if Louis was about to put his hand on the small of Harry’s back to lead him inside, but he stopped it last second. He bit his lip and turned away to unlock the door that had now swung shut, opening it for Harry. The second the door closed behind them, the air got considerably warmer, but the atmosphere was a lot quieter, more intimate.

Until a loud group of boys passed, obliviously talking about football and arguing which teams were better. “Er, want to talk in my dorm?” Louis suggested.

“Yeah, that seems like the better idea,” Harry agreed. He wanted somewhere quiet to pour his heart out.

The walk down the hallway was quiet, aside from the occasional loud noise heard inside the dorms, like a loud laugh, or the sound of the TV blaring. Harry was itching through their awkwardness; nothing was ever awkward between the two of them. Yet here they were. 

To Harry’s relief, they finally made it to Louis’ dorm. Louis unlocked it, pushing the door open and shoving some stray shoes out of the doorway to let Harry in. “Sorry for the mess,” he said sheepishly.

It was hard to believe that the place was already a mess and Louis was barely even here for a few hours; he probably left some stuff behind and didn’t clean before he left. There were some clothes slung over the back of a recliner and some scattered on the hard wood floor. He did notice Louis’ bags were still not unpacked, the suitcases stuffed in the corner. He should have guessed it was messy because Louis was generally a messy person, which was always endearing, even if Harry ended up cleaning up after him on many occasions.

Aside from the mess, the place was homey, with some picture frames filled with pictures of him and the lads and his family on the walls and on the desk stuffed in the corner, with colorful books stacked high on the side. He smiled when he saw a drawing Phoebe made of her and Louis that was hanging right above his small twin bed, the two stick figures holding hands, the same height even though Louis was clearly taller than Phoebe. The bed wasn’t made, but Harry liked the blue and white striped comforter on it.

“’S nice,” he offered a smile. He could really picture him and Louis camped out in here, cuddling under the covers and watching movies on Louis’ shit laptop or attempting to study together with books spread all around them when they really would just be talking and giggling. And he could picture the two of them defiling the bed with all the sex he hoped they would have, with Louis undone and leaning against the headboard, naked and pliant with his feet tangled in the comforter whispering Harry’s name and oh boy it was not the kind of thoughts he should be having when he was here to _talk_ with Louis.

Talk, yes. Talking was good.

“Thanks,” Louis almost smiled back, “not to be er, blunt, but honestly Harry what are you doing here?” He had sadness behind his blue eyes.

Harry took a deep breath. “I need to set things straight, and I know you probably hate me after everything –“

“Hate you?” Louis cut in, “no Harry, I don’t hate you. I’m so, so stupid. I read everything wrong and I thought we were something that we’re not and I mean, you never even said you _liked_ me like that, so why did I assume?” he let out a bitter laugh, like he was frustrated with himself, “and like, you’re right I _don’t_ know what you’re going through, I can’t even imagine, and I’m sorry for acting like I did. I just… I wanted you to know I was _trying_ and I wanted to help and – “

“Louis, Louis, _Louis_ , please let me talk,” Harry cut in, almost a bit strangled. It was breaking his heart the way Louis was beating himself up over _Harry_ messing up, _Harry_ being stupid, his face miserable and brows pulled down. Thankfully, Louis shut up, although the crease between his brows didn’t go away.

“I need to get this off my chest, so don’t interrupt because I know you love doing that,” Harry gave a tiny little smile to show he was fond, but continued, “okay, so. Like. As you know, I don’t have a good relationship with my mum, or my sister. For as long as I could remember, the two have been ignoring me, my mum having us when she was too young and wasn’t ready for kids and already had a bad marriage with my dad. Then he left and she was left with the kids she didn’t really want, so she would leave us alone a lot, going out and still trying to be young like we didn’t exist. Gemma was angry at her, at the world, not even letting me in, in turn shutting me and the rest of the world out, turning to boyfriends to fuck and sleeping at friends’ houses. I was always kind of quiet because of this, you know? Like I thought there was something wrong with me because my own family didn’t want to really be with me. I never really had a lot of friends, because who would want to be friends with someone who didn’t really open up? I had just one, Nick, who is lovely, but he’s older so it’s hard to see him much, honestly. 

“And then I met you,” Harry paused, looking up at Louis for the first time throughout his story. Louis had more pronounced sadness behind his eyes, but he was listening intently. “I was so nervous that night when you walked in the bakery. You were this beautiful, confident boy and then there was just me, you know? But I felt like I could really start over. It was just always so easy with us. That had never happened to me before, just _connecting_ with someone, getting the real side of me out again. And then I thought I’d never see you again, and you come in, all cold and flustered, asking for a ride, and honestly, how could I refuse? I was gone the second I laid eyes on you, and this beautiful boy wanted to spend more time with me, even if he just needed a lift. 

“And then I got to really know you. You weren’t just beautiful anymore, you were loud and funny and had a huge heart and I always just wanted to impress you. And the weirdest part was that you seemed like you wanted to spend time with me too. And then we kissed and got to do other things and every day got better and better and we were just getting so close, just like, I actually really, really cared about you, not like an infatuation anymore, but _proper_ cared for you. Like you were by far my best mate, I could trust you with anything and I would be there for you and vice versa, even though I had those feelings underneath that were more than friendly. Like, okay, the week we’ve spent together has honestly been the best week of my life, no exaggeration. 

“And one of the days, I can remember the day exactly, we were lying by the fireplace and I realized that I’m in love with you. I don’t even know how it happened so quickly, how you got under my skin, but you did, not that I’m complaining.

“And then of course New Year’s rolled around,” he continued quickly, not wanting to see Louis’ reaction at his confession, “I wanted to confess my feelings, but I was scared you didn’t feel the same way. Because we always kissed and stuff, but we never talked about it the next day, I didn’t know if you just liked me to do things with me and as a friend or if you actually _liked_ me romantically and I just had to know because I knew I had to leave after the holidays. So instead of telling you I was in love with you, I was just going to ask what we were, like if you wanted to be my boyfriend. So I got a little drunker than I meant and stumbled upstairs to find you, and then my mum called. She was drunk and told me she was leaving again, after not checking in for the whole week, and I was drunk and all of my feelings bubbled up. Like after the best week with you and your family, I actually saw a functioning family, a mum that loved her kids and took care of them, and I knew that she was wrong. And I freaked out on her. And I was just feeling so sad and you were trying to help and I got irrationally angry, because you had this wonderful mum and I just wanted to be loved, and I convinced myself that you just wanted to fuck me and I flipped out and said things that weren’t true. And god, you actually believed me and you left and…” he took a shuddering breath, “I just, I just really don’t want you to hate me or think I hate you or that you did anything wrong. I was the one who was wrong, and I have my reasons, but they’re no excuse and I just wanted you to understand, which is why I’m boring you with all of this. And I’m still in love with you, and if you don’t hate me, I really wish you’d consider being my boyfriend because it’s honestly been the only thing I could think about since I laid eyes on you.”

There was absolute silence after his speech, not that he dared to look up and see Louis’ reaction because let’s face it, Harry was a coward. He just laid himself raw and bare for Louis to see every insecurity and feelings he’s ever had.

He heard Louis take in a shaky breath and he hesitantly raised his head, preparing himself for the worst, like disgust at Harry’s whining or pity because he didn’t feel the same way. All Harry saw on Louis’ face when he looked up was shining adoration on his face, a small genuine smile, and he was sure Louis would deny it later, but his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.

“Oh, god, Harry, I…” he let out a disbelieving laugh, “you’re in love with me?”

Harry felt his stomach twist with nerves, wondering what Louis was getting at. “Yeah, I am.”

“You _idiot,_ ” Louis said fondly, “you really thought I just wanted to fuck you? Seriously? I thought I was being so obvious. I just. God, Harry I’m so in love with you it hurts, and I have been for a bit now, and I just, I thought I lost you and you didn’t feel the same way and…” he broke off, laughing again, a smile blooming across his face so wide it looked like it hurt. “Of course I want to be your boyfriend.”

Harry felt his own face break into a huge smile, his heart swelling. 

Louis didn’t hate him.

Louis loved him.

Louis was in love with him.

Louis wanted to be his _boyfriend._

He didn’t even have to say anything, he just blindly threw himself at Louis, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck and smashed his lips against his, surely not the most romantic of kisses, but it had Louis laughing against his lips so he really couldn’t complain. They fell back onto the bed, legs slotting together and chests flushed against each other as Harry kept peppering kisses all over Louis’ face, making him blush and giggle and swat him away.

“Mine,” he said softly, kissing Louis on the lips again.

“Yours,” Louis confirmed, lightly wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist.

Harry closed his eyes, feeling content as the boy he loved, his _boyfriend_ , was a solid weight against him, feeling the two of their hearts beating in time together through their shirts. He knew that in a bit he would be going back to uni and having to deal with being apart from Louis for a year. He would have to deal with the consequences of losing his mum. Even on a smaller note, he knew he’d have to pack Louis up soon to bring him back to his mum’s to finish out the rest of his break, since he went back to uni early. He also had to convince Jay to let Harry stay for the rest of the break, since he was now essentially homeless aside from his shabby uni dorm. They’d have to deal with everyone pestering them about their relationship and how it happened and their mockery.

But at the moment, this memory was theirs and theirs only. 

And even with all of the impeding implications that were surfacing, Harry couldn’t even find it in himself to worry about it, as Louis started to hum softly. He had Louis, and Louis had him, and it was really the only thing that mattered. He knew that he could handle anything thrown at him with that fact alone.

With a soft smile and Louis’ fingers threading through his curls, Harry let himself drift into a deep sleep, content with just staying in bed forever with the beautiful boy lying beside him.

 

**_End._ **

**Author's Note:**

> So that's that! Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did writing it, and of course, I hope my lovely best friend Meghan liked it because it was all for her :-) Feedback is always appreciated and I'm gonna be writing more things soon so keep checking up on my page x


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